After three to four long years of uprooting to a small town in New Zealand, Lana had decided it was the right time to move back to London to finish off her studies at her home town whilst attending the University of Birmingham going to her second ye...
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Ten minutes ago, I just got the worst calls from the prison a few minutes after I had woken up by my phone vibrating on the nightstand right next to my bed so I decided to pick up the phone which was the worst decision that I have ever made in my life, not knowing it was from my ex-boyfriend prison guards telling me that he want to see me and I don't know if I could easily forgive him as if all the pain he has caused me in this year, however, I know that I wasn't in the right state of mind to go visit him at all when everyone else was telling me to not give him the satisfaction of seeing me there.
My friends come comforting me in my room when they heard me screaming so frustratingly at the walls before I could almost fall to the ground crying out loud and clear for everyone else to hear from my room even the whole of the people who were on campus today can hear me yelling at myself for going through this agony which calls life for existing to continue to live with the pain for so long being broken. I couldn't bear to be reminded about the past few months any longer than I had learned to live through this process of healing to be a healthy version of myself as a result of finding real love furthermore, I knew how narcissistic he was making me feel like I was a psychopath as he was gaslighting me for five months.
"Lana, everything is going to be alright, but I promise you that we won't let James go anywhere else in the world near you" assured Penelope.
Layton come running into my room to comfort me by carefully picking me up off the ground to place me between his legs before he started pacing on the floorboards in my room in anger over my ex-boyfriend James' phone call to me as I was crying a river of tears whilst listening to threaten to hurt anyone else who has hurt me today or in the past years ago to make sure that no one else can ever touch me or lay a finger on me because he will in skinned and chopped off all of their fingers. My boyfriend was simply amazing ever since I have gotten the chance to get to know him again being protective over me even in the small major circumstances he will always be my first choice of person to run to.
In addition to him, seething over the fact that James has gotten in contact with me and then begging me to visit in prison to have some words to tell me about how much he wanted to apologise for what he has done to me somehow I can't seem to outrun my past as it was overshadowed by the echo of my past that keeps haunting me when I lay awake at night reeling from the scars while starting at the stars and moon as I keep looking out the window.
"I swear I am going to kill the flipping idiot myself by using my own hands to rip his head off," he said dangerously to me.
Everyone else including me looked up at him pacing the floor with so much determine whether to hurt my ex-boyfriend or not, in comparison to the others who were slightly worrying about the way he was going with this unless we can be able to calm him down when he gets furious like this would be great if he stops to think for a minute rather than acting on my behalf of all the painstakingly hard stuff that I have been through nonetheless, I will escape this feeling of being suffocated by the monster who made me feel like I was crazy.
Penelope tried to sniff back her tears, then cleared her throat, and said "stop all of this anger and frustration over a guy who is not worth our time or tears" she reasoned with everyone else making them realise that they are just as bad as my exes "why can't you see that you guys going to prison wouldn't have helped her at all?".
Silently listened to what everyone else in this room was saying while texting my parents on my phone before running out of the room and I stole his key to drive myself off-campus to, help clear my head which my first trip out of here would have been to go to a bar originally pretending that apple juice was alcoholic drink but i decided to go to the nearest beaches in this area to watch the ocean rise and fall afterwards, i would go buy some fish and chips as i was staring longingly at the ocean or maybe feeding the seagulls some of my leftover food to help me cheer up by hearing the sweet calming white sound around me soon waiting for reality to set in my mind to begin to start feeling like a normal person even though i guess that i have to invent a version of myself when i was at my happiest which it was whenever i was with Layton my boyfriend/ fiance.
As i slowly turn around when i hear footprints with a sudden hints of sound from a similar voice across five metre athe way from me and I apologised " hey, sorry for running off and taking your car along for the ride with me" because normally this was the type of stuff that I would usually do "I must have been a pretty messed up person to go from screaming out loud to watching the ocean crashing against the shores" I said to him.
"We are all messed up but if you think about it, sometimes people choose to act on their dark thoughts rather than doing the right thing" he explained to me.
Because suddenly the world made sense to me as I was sitting here on the sand while watching the most beautiful purple, red and orange colour sunset in the sky when I realised that everything in this world has a purpose in life, for example, I knew it was fate that has brought me back here to him after every single ounce of unbearable pain which I have been enduring since went to new Zealand then decided to go to my hometown to spend the remainder of my education in the same school as my friends. To live the life I was meant to live all my life, beyond the moon and the stars in the sky I felt like I was finally at home in his arms just as it reminds me of our teenage years whenever I was upset he could sense from a mile and he would always comfort me in his loving embrace to make me feel safe and secure again.
"You are my Sun and I am your moon" I mumbled against his lips.
We were sitting very close together gazing into each other eyes like never before and during this moment of truth, magically feeling when everything in your body starts to tingle within a close approximately whilst waiting for one of us to make a move on one another, and he finally did it by leaning slightly more toward me as he suddenly crashed his lips onto mine gently yet passionately all in one. I could do this for ages even if the reality of the situation starts sinking into my head though I know that I will be okay with my friends and family members by my side who have been supporting me through all these years of shocks.
Peacefully lying on a blanket on the sand watching the wonderful night sky in all of its glory secretly knowing that from the corner of my eye he was glancing at me the whole time as I was describing the sky as magnificent, elegant and stunningly beautiful to look at him, I was too busy looking at the sky to even notice that he was taking pictures of the most striking thing right now which was the sky because I was getting my best friend and favourite person in the world, Penelope to take a picture of us. I did have a gut feeling that her brother Layton, my boyfriend was sneakily taking his picture of me.
My favourite moments of ours will always be this one.
