Wildest dreams || Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen (lestappen)

It won't be

Max had been looking around the doctors office, or at least what he could see from it. His parents seated right from him and Charles glued to his left hand side holding his hand tightly. Trying to calm him down, but maybe even more trying to calm himself. Given the tight grip.

Though it was common with brain injury that there was vision loss, the doctor had hoped his vision would have returned or at least gotten better by now. Also the increased headache the dutchman was experiencing worried him. So he wanted to do neuropsychological examination as he described it.
The doctor was blunt and straight forward about it as the verstappen's had asked him. Even after years of being together with Max he still hadn't gotten used to the bluntness the Dutch people went about with it. Charles would have appreciated to get eased in to the conversation a little bit, but this wasn't about him.

At first the doctor asked Max and him separately to answer the questions on a observation list. As Max filled it in with the doctor cause he had trouble reading the questions and Charles did it on his own.
Afterwards the doctor looked at it briefly "okay" he sighed and nodded. Before he got a notebook and a pencil from under his desk and layed it in front of Max.

"Max, can you try to re-draw this sketch for me?" The doctor asked as he smiled friendly at the dutchman showing him a picture of a cat with a bowtie around it's neck. As Max started to draw Charles followed Max's movements on the paper with his eyes.

"Done, though I'm no Van Gogh so I hope it resembles" Max laughed a little  and Charles brows furrowed. On the paper was only half a cat sketched out, like he completely missed the right hand side. "Cherie?" As he wanted to ask his boyfriend about it, confused about why his boyfriend didn't finish the drawing but seemed to be convinced he was done. Was the brain damage worse the they thought it was? but the doctor stopped him before he could even ask. Max looked at him questioning and confused before he looked back towards the doctor

"Okay Max, after reviewing your scans and how you did on these test it's pretty clear what is going on" the doctor spoke calmly
"It seems like you have "hemipatory neglect" this means that your can see, so your eye is working perfectly fine but the sensory information your eye collects isn't registered in your brain" the doctor went to explain to them always the same calm voice.
"B-but? But can it get better?" Max asked tightening the grip on his boyfriend's hand. Both of their hands clamp as they held the other tight.

From there on the doctor explained to them that there was therapy for this, also he was still in the recovery fase so it could get better on it's own.

Max sighed as he let go of his boyfriends hand and swept the sweat from his palms on his joggers before looking up at the doctor again. "Will I -can I race again?" He stared at the doctor. "Max, I'm gonna be honest with you, that depends on your recovery" the doctor sighed. "If I do everything, is it possible for me to race the 2021 season?"
"Max...it's not impossible but for now it seems unlikely as you have to be in the car in three months. I think it's better if you try to focus on getting back for the 2022 season" the doctor sighed.

"Fuck no!" Max said as tears sprang in his eyes as he stood up, the chair he was just seated on scratching over the linoleum floor.
"Cherie..." Charles said as he grabbed his hand trying to comfort him.
"NO! If there is a chance, then I will drive this season!" Max said angrily as his head turned red, tears now started to roll down his face before he stormed out of the room, bumping in to the doorpost on his way. "Fuck!" He grumbled as he went out.

"Max?!" The monegasque called after him before he excused himself towards the doctor ,Jos and Sophie
"I'll go after him!" He said as he nodded towards them before calling out "Max, Cherie, please wait!" Running after him.

———

Catching up to the dutchman wasn't the hardest part, because his vision loss he wasn't as fast as he used to be with his sight fully functional, also hiding out in his own hospital room made it not particularly hard to find him.

As Charles entered the room he had to dodge the pillows Max was throwing around the room trying to get out his frustration. "Maxy..." he said carefully. "It will be okay" he tried to calm and comfort his boyfriend.

"Don't Maxy me Charles! And don't make promises you can't keep!" He grumbled as he balled his hands in to fist by his sides. "You still see just fine, you are cleared to drive by the doctors! I'm not!" Red blotches appearing on his skin as his hands turned white digging his nails in his own skin.

"But you have a good chance on recovery Max! and you survived! You're still alive! You're still here after everything that happened!" he tried as he tried not to break down himself as he watched his boyfriend fall apart.
"THAT IS NOT ENOUGH CHARLES!" Max spat at him as he now threw another pillow towards the wall beside him. Before he tried to steady his breathing.

"DON'T SAY THAT MAX!" Charles cried out at his boyfriend's statement not able to hide his own emotions anymore.
The dutchman was startled by his boyfriend as he looked at him. "What?!"
Charles sniffed "don't say that...." As he furiously whipped a tear from his cheek. "Don't say that you surviving isn't enough.." he now had to take a deep breath as he felt himself breathing faster. Letting himself fall in the chair behind him, exhaustion taking over his bones.

Max looked at him before falling down on his knees to the floor as realisation hit him he mumbled "sorry" now whipping the tears of his own face. As he realised what those words meant to Charles with all the losses he already had endured. "I-I should- I shouldn't have said that" he sighed apologetically.

The monegasque looked at him and stood up to crouch down next to Max again. Wrapping his left arm around the dutchman as with the other hand he lifted up his face and looked him in the eyes for a couple of second before placed a soft kiss on his plush lips.

"It's okay Cherie" he sighed. "I understand that you want to be back in the car no matter what... I would be the same..." the words he said, he meant them. He and Max were cut from the same piece of wood. Racing was everything. It was part of their being. No racing would be like missing a limb.

"I'm really sorry liefje, it's just.... I can't quit racing, at least not yet" he sighed closing his eyes. "My career cost my parents their marriage, my sister didn't grew up with me or her dad as he always was away with me...it can not all have been for nothing!" He said as he let more silent tears fall down his face.

As the monegasque rested their heads together , he breathed against the dutchman skin. "It won't be"