𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚 |𝟏𝟖+

10 || Promises

song: idfc by blackbear

.....

aurora moretto

Matteo's actually fucked up my mind.

Despite all the shitty things he's done to me, I still find myself going back to when he held me. The moments where he wasn't the Capo of the Italian mafia and I wasn't his enemies daughter. When I just needed someone to be there and he was there. When we were simply just a man and a woman.

When he apologized, I saw in his eyes the guilt he carried. He had meant it.

Then he kissed me.

He said the kiss said things he couldn't. He was honest, the kiss told me he was happy to see me save, he was sorry, and he wanted to go back and change it all.

Then he asked me on a date. I was fucking flabbergasted.

I mean, even he was fucking shocked. We just stood there for 4 minutes, shocked. 

What shocked us further was my stupid ass saying yes. 

I know that if I think too much about it, I'll pussy out but there's a voice in my head telling me not to catch feelings, he'll leave or die. I'm literally the grim fucking reaper, everyone I get close to dies. 

Everyday I wait for the call that something happened to Alice, I just know it'll happen. And the day that happens is the day I'll reunite with mia famiglia. (my family)

"You said what?!" Alice voice breaks me out of my thoughts. She paces my room. I just told her about the kiss, the apology and the date. 

"I said yes.." I mutter.

"And he apologized?! He's so down bad." She cackles.  

"Wait what was the other thing he did, I forgot?" She stops laughing and raises her eyebrows at me.

"Kissed me.." I murmur.

"Holy fucking shit," She whispers. "My ship is sailing!" She squeals. 

"Your what?" I give her a puzzled look. 

"You know, My ship. Maurora? I have to call Sebastian, we fucking called it!"

"Alice." I groan into my pillow. 

"So on another topic.. how are you doing?" She says, her hesitation is loud and clear. Today marks 8 months of Alyssa's death.

"I don't want to think about it." My voice is muffled by my pillow.

"Aurora, maybe you should see a therapist." Alice suggests.

I sit up. "Hell no." I shake my head.

"You're right, that was the dumbest shit I've ever thought of." 

This is why she's my best friend.

.....

In honor of my sister, I got shit faced. 

I puked up my guts, then took a nap. Now I'm awake and I feel distorted, and still drunk.

Somehow I thought it would be a good idea to go see Matteo. My prison ward. I laugh, that was funny. 

I knock on Matteo's bedroom door still giggling at my joke. 

When he opens the door he raises his brows in question.