𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚 |𝟏𝟖+

09 || My Ruin

song: kiss by ed sheeran

.....

matteo verrati

I've always been quick to act when I'm angry. Never thinking about the consequences or how it will affect other people. I simply do than think.

When I'm calm its completely different. I always think before I do. Like when I'm doing business I think how could this affect my empire. Even go as far as to over analyze situations.

But the difference between business and personal decisions is that when doing business I couldn't really give a shit about their feelings.

I don't feel this guilt like I do now.

Selling her apartment.. Locking her up..

I wasn't fucking thinking.

I'm so used to people submitting to me, doing as I say as soon as the words leave my mouth that her disobedience set me off.

If I could do it all again, I would do so many thinks different.

I want to fucking cut off my arm knowing I hurt her. Vincent obviously fucked up Aurora bad and I just brought back those memories.

I've heard stories about Aurora Moretto. She's ruthless. When people step out of line, she has no fucking problem sitting them back down. And Vincent sure as hell stepped outta line, so imagine my surprise when her eyes held fear at the mention of facing him.

I was irrational with her. Fuck, I won't talk about my father then I expected her too.

I can't let her free, Vincent's men are pissed as hell now that their Capo is dead. They want to finish the job, killing Aurora. The only way I can protect her is here, safe. (Boss)

I don't like the feeling of her dead gives me. I just want to protect her and in doing so I've hurt her. I don't know how to come back from that.

The look in her eye when I mentioned the scar her father told me about made me feel like the biggest asshole in the fucking world. I wanted to beg her to never look at me like that ever again.

I don't fucking beg. Why is she doing this to my head? I sound like a fucking nut case.

I can't show any regret or guilt of my actions. I can't be weak. I won't let Aurora Moretto be my ruin.

I don't know what these fucking feelings are but I can't act on them.

.....

"You're such a fucking dumbass." Seb sighs.

If he didn't mean something to me I would've put a bullet between his eyes a long fucking time ago. Sebastian is not only my second in command but also the Spanish Mafia Don. If I die the son of the bitch will run two fucking empires, blessing and a curse.

"I talked to her, she's a nice girl. Alice's also talked about her a lot. She doesn't deserved this shit, Mate."

I fucking know.

"What," I clear my throat. "What should I do." I finish.

"Honestly, just fucking apologize."

I give him a "never fucking happening" look.

"Shut up, that shit works. Alice and Aurora share a goddamn brain and when I apologize it gets me a long way. But you have to fucking mean it, I know you and you're just gonna say "sorry"," he mocks me.