𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚 |𝟏𝟖+

Epilogue

song: video games - lana del rey

.....

aurora verrati

I fucked up.

Alice and I, years ago came up with this plan to become pregnant at the same time. And I agreed that it was a great plan. Hell, I was even excited for it.

But Alice isn't ready for kids right now and neither am I.

Not that it matters now though.

A mix of a sob and laugh leave my mouth as I look at the test again.

2 red lines.

Positive.

I'm pregnant.

Matteo and I discussed babies once and that was 4 years ago. We've been so happy just being married and traveling that having children didn't cross our minds. I know he wants to be a dad, I just don't know if he wants to be one right now.

While I was taking the test, I was praying for it to be negative. At that moment I thought I wasn't ready to be a mom. Have someone to depend on me, learn from me, or even fucking birth it.

But now..

There's a baby inside of me. My baby. A baby Matteo and I made.

And I want it.

.....

"Alice?" I call out, closing the front door to her home.

She walks down her staircase. "Hi! Matteo isn't here if you're looking for him. Seb and him had a meeting."

"I'm not looking for him." I blow out a breath.

She frowns. "You okay, Rori?"

Instead of verbally telling her, I pull out the test and hand it to her. "I fucked up our plan."

She's silent as she studies the test. But then she lets out the most ear piercing squeal. "Oh my god!"

She throws herself around me and jumps up and down then freezes and pulls back. "This is a good thing, right?"

I scrunch up my face. "It's complicated."

She nods. "Sit down, we'll talk about it."

As I sit down on the couch, she pulls over a bottle of wine. "Alice," I groan.

"Oh!" She looks at the bottle. "Right." She casually throws the bottle under a pillow and sits beside me. "Now, what's wrong?"

I chew on my lip. "I want this baby."

She stares at me. "And..?"

"What if Matteo isn't ready? What if I'm not ready? Wanting and ready are two very different things," I rant, rubbing my temples.

"Do you want me to—"

I groan. "And our plan! You're not pregnant," I point out.

She snorts. "That's the last thing you need to worry about." She dismisses. "I can get pregnant this week, trust me."

"What if I fuck this up?" I whisper.

She frowns and furrows her brows. "What do you mean?"

"I just.. I have no example to follow of a good childhood." I gulp. "Mom tried her hardest but.. I don't want to be her."

She nods in understanding. "I know what you mean, but Matteo is nothing like Vincent and you are nothing like our mother."

"I know that."