Attention What If

Chapter 1

Skylar POV

If my life was a movie it would definitely be one that starts off good, but then you soon realize you are watching a slow train wreck. By the end of the movie, you'd wonder what the hell you just watched. That would be the movie of my life. A good start, and a decent middle, but a complete train wreck by the end.

What would that movie be called?

The relationship of Skylar Clifton and Jade Tate.

Starring a love-blinded fool and Jade freaking Tate.

I used to think Jade Tate was perfect. A girl with everything going for her. Someone who would sweep me off my feet and make me weak in the knees. A girl unlike any other. I was partially right. She does have a lot going for her, she does make me weak in the knees and she is unlike anyone I've ever met.

But.

Jade Tate is not perfect.

Never has been, never will be. Jade Tate may be all those things but she is also manipulative, clingy, controlling, and probably the most infuriating person I've ever met. Against my will, I love her all the same.

At least I used to think so.

For a long time, I did.

But these days I'm not so sure.

What if I was wrong?

What if I don't know what love is? What if I don't love her? What if she doesn't love me? What if she never did?

Where is all this coming from? Well let me tell you, I am very lonely these days. Jade is super famous now and she's always off doing something. Off at work, off with her friends, off at some super cool party.

I'm not much better. I have school and track and my job.

But I miss her.

Which is so stupid because we literally live together.

At least I used to think so.

She's gone more often than she's here.

And when she is here, I'm not.

I know I got myself into this mess. That I held on when I should have let her go a long time ago. I rode this train till the bitter end. I have no one to blame for my predicament but me. I ignored all the red flags and pleas from friends and family. I bulldozed past the point of no return, I burned down my only safety raft. I'm stuck on this island, and I have no one to blame but myself.

The worst part is... she doesn't even realize something's wrong. Typical Jade. So long as her life is going smoothly she assumes mine is too. I can't tell if I'm more mad at myself for letting it get this bad or at Jade for not even trying.

I love her.

I want to love her.

I want her to love me.

Why is that such a hard thing to do?

I sigh and glance at the bedside clock which reads 3:11 AM. I turn over in bed and as usual, the other half of the bed is empty. Against my will my eyes water.

I miss her.

She's so unfair. She has to meddle in my life. Know what I'm doing, who I'm with, and what are my plans. But the moment I try and ask her the same, she gets so defensive and butt hurt. Part of me wishes she was cheating on me just so I have some type of excuse to end this train wreck. The other part knows I won't survive if that doubt in my head turns out to be true.