I fell in love with my bully ( trigger warning selfharm)

005

Pov: Tessa

"We're here" I hear zed say. I open the door and step out of the car. " wow it's so big" I look around with my mouth open I never thought I would go to a party. " I see you never been to a house party" I hear zed laughing. " come let's go inside" I feel him taking my hand. I look behind me and I doesn't see Steph anymore. She's probably already inside. I feel zed pulling me inside and walk towards a group who is sitting on the couch. " hey guys " I hear zed say walking towards a guy with blond hair.

" hey mate how have you been and who is this gorgeous girl" i see the guy with blond hair walking towards me . " Jace this is Tessa, Tessa this is Jace" zed introduces me " nice to meet you" I shake his hand. " and the girl over there is Molly and the guy next to her is Hardin, and the blond girl over there is Tristan the niece of steph".

I look at Molly and Hardin making out I always thought he was my best friend but after seeing him with her and the others he just changed his mind. I see Hardin looking at me with a worried face. I brushed it off and sit in between zed and Jace. " let's play truth or dare" I look at molly who is smiling big at me that doesn't look good. " isn't that a kids game " I look at her. " not how we play" I see zed smiling at me.

" okay truth or dare zed" . " uhm dare" I hear zed say. " I dear you to drink the whole bottle ". I see zed take the bottle from tristan and drink it empty. " Tessa truth or dare" I see zed looking at me. "Uhmm dare" afraid for the question they will ask. " I dare you to drink this" zed holding up a cup with alcohol in front of me. " she won't do it " I hear a voice. I look up and my eyes meet Harding eyes. Without thinking I take the cup and put it to my mouth and drink it all. I feel the burning feeling in my throat and try not the cough. I put the cup down.

" wow Tessa good job" I hear zed say. " okay truth or dare Steph" I  look at her. " truth" she finally say after a while . " whats you biggest insecurity" I look at her I see her face getting red from anger because I knew I couldn't ask that . " that's non of your business Tessa" she  looks angry at me. " wow calm down Steph it was just a question " I hear zed say.

" Oke Tessa" truth or dare " I see Molly smiling at me not a normal smile but  a smile that what's coming next is not so pleasant . " uhm truth" I look at her and see her smile getting bigger. " what's the craziest place you kissed a boy" molly smirks at me. " I never uhm" I look at the ground from embarrassment because a girl of my age would have already kissed a guy . " you never what" she crosses her arms. Her smile get wider. " I uhm never kissed someone" I  look at my nails afraid to look up.

" omg you never kissed someone how is that possible or are you that ugly" I hear Molly laughing at me. I feel tears coming I stand up and walk as fast as I can towards the bathroom. I open the door and close it behind me. I walk towards the mirror and look at myself with a disgusting face. No wonder nobody ever kissed me. I feel tears stream down my face and open an drawer.

I see a razor blade. I take the extra blades. And look at it for a long time. I pull up my sweater and look at my scars. I need to I think by myself. I put the blade at me arm but then I hear a knock on the door. " you almost ready" I hear a strange girl say. " yes " I lay the blades as fast as I can back where I grab them. I open the door and smiled and walk downstairs. I look around for Steph but I can't find her. I shake my head and walk towards the kitchen. I never drink why would I even consider to take a sip. I take a cup and open the fridge and take some water. At least I thought it was water.

I put the cup to my mouth and drink it al. Suddenly I feel a little bit dizzy. I put the cup down and walk towards the living room. I feel myself getting more drunker. I open the door and walk outside. I walk towards the grass and lay down. " hey there beautiful why are you laying on the ground" I hear a voice say. I look around and see a guy with blond hair looking at me. " uhm just laying " I was drunk yes but I couldn't care anymore i close my eyes. I feel someone sitting beside me. " are you alright not to cold" I hear him say. I shake my head no and look at him.

" what's your name" I say with double tongue i forgot i met him 30 minutes ago because of the alcohol. " Jace what's yours". " Tessa " I close my eyes again. " let's go I will take you upstairs" I feel Jace taking my hand and pull me up . " mhm" I take his hands. I feel him pulling me inside again towards the stairs. I feel him pulling me into a room. " lay down Tessa". I walk towards the bed and lay down. I hear Jace talking to someone but I'm to drunk to hear who it is. " sorry that I took so long" I feel him sitting down on the bed. I smiled a little. I feel him climbing on top of me. I want to kick or slap him but my body doesn't do what I want. I feel his hands over me.

" p please" I feel slowly how my tears leave my eyes. " don't cry love it wil be over soon" I feel his breath by my neck and I feel his hand on my shirt trying to pull it over my head. " GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER" I hear someone say. I feel someone pulling Jace of of me. I feel my eyes getting heavier.......

To be continued

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Written on 12-02-2023
Rewritten on 26-10-2023