I fell in love with my bully ( trigger warning selfharm)

026

Pov: Tessa

I open my eyes slowly to get used to the sun that is shining on my face. I sit up and take my phone to look when my plane is leaving. I step out of bed and take my clothes for today. I decided just to wear a black skirt with a red top and black shoes. I walk to the bathroom and take a quick shower and get dressed. I think about yesterday when I called hardin. First I didn't know for sure if I wanted to meet him. And I know for sure my mom hate him because I know he told my mom what happened. But after everything he did we had a great time to and I don't want to lose that. I'm scared of course to go back because Molly, Jace and zed. I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket and take my phone. Hey Tess it's Robert I'm really sorry about yesterday that I tried to kiss you. I heard you are going back today and I really hope we could meet to take proper goodbye. I smile a little he's really sweet I text him the place where we meet in 15 minutes.

I walk downstairs and see that nobody is there they are probably sleeping because it's only 8am. I text Landon that I'm gone for an hour and will be back around 9/10 am. Luckily my plane is going around 1pm and it's 1 hour flying. I know I could go with a car but I don't have my drivers license yet. I walk towards the bus and get inside and take my phone. Today is the day I see Hardin again. I see a message pop up from Hardin. As we speak about the devil I smile a little and open the message. Maybe everyone thinks I'm stupid to meet with him after everything he did but I can't let him go. It's like he took me out of the darkness and hold me by his side so I can't fall into the depths of my own.

Hardin: hey Tess you hung op so fast yesterday and I forgot to ask where we could meet?
Me: Starbucks around 3 pm
Hardin: yeah sounds great. I really miss you Tess

I read the message a couple times but don't know what to say. Is it weird to love someone who has hurted you ?. That question is running trough my mind for a couple days. When the bus finally arrived at my destination I slowly get out and walk towards the restaurant. I see Robert already sitting on the chair. I wave at him and sit down too. " thanks for meeting me" he smiles at me . " I'm really sorry about yesterday I really thought you felt the same way like I did but I think I was just wrong" he say again.

" you really don't have to apologize Robert it was really nice yesterday and thank you for the dinner you made me happy, and I maybe give you the wrong signal's" I take his hands. " your really sweet but the reason I can't kiss you or date you, because I'm still in love with someone" I smile lightly. " Hardin right the guy who hurt you" I hear Roberts voice getting angry. " yeah I know it sounds stupid and he did hurt me but I don't know how to explain it I just can't stop loving him because he saved my life" I sounds a little bit dumb because that reason is the dumbest reason I have ever said.

" so your still in love with him because he saved you, so that means your not loving him because who he is you love him because he saved you, Tessa that's not true  love" I look at him like I have seen a ghost. " excuse me" I hear my voice a little bit irritating. " you heard me" I see Robert getting angrier this time. " this was a mistake I'm sorry but I can't give you what you want I have to go" I stand up and walk away from him. When I Closed the door I hear him curse but I didn't pay attention to it anymore. I see the bus driving away and run as fast as I can and wave with my hands maybe he or she will see me.

Running with a dress is a no go. I see the bus slowing down and I get inside. " your lucky I saw you go sit down " the lady say. " thank you" I give her the money and sit down. I look out of the window and see Robert locking around to find me. I shake my head and after 15 min I'm finally at Landon's home. I get out of the bus and knock on the door. " he Tess I just saw you text" Landon let me go inside. " I'm gonna take my stuff and then I will be downstairs " I see Landon nod. I walk upstairs and see that my suitcase is already packed. " I knew you where later so I packed it for you" Karen walks towards me. " I put some clothes in your suitcase that I'm not wearing anymore " she pulls me into a hug.

" thank you so much for everything " I feel tears in my eyes. " it's alright love your family " she  pulls away from the hug. I take my suitcase and walk out of the room downstairs. I place my suitcase in the hallway and walk into the kitchen where Landon is making tea. " did you saw Robert" he sits down. I nod. " and" he looks at me with a big smile. " nothing we said goodbye and that's it" I look at Landon with a little smile. " should I drop you off at the airport " Landon asked me. I smile " yeah that would be great ". I walk towards Karen and give her a hug " thank you for everything ". I see Karen smiling at me" you're welcome Tess and if there is something you can always call me". I feel her hug one last time and wave her goodbye. We walk towards Landon's car. I get in and Landon is putting my suitcase into the back. After 30 minutes we finally arrived. I take my suitcase and walk towards the entrance I turn around and look at Landon with tears in my eyes.

" you alright". I look at Landon " yeah I'm fine I'm just going to miss you lan". I feel Landon pulling me into a hug" I'm gonna miss you too Tess let me know when your home". I nod and wave him goodbye and walk inside towards the counter and give the lady my passport. " have a nice flight " she  smiles nicely at me. " thank you have a nice day". I take my suitcase and walk inside the plane and put my suitcase into the little space above me. I was surprised it would fit because all of the new clothes Karen got me. I take my phone and make a selfie and send it to Landon with in the plane. I look Landon typing. Be careful Tess. I put my phone on plane mood and put my music on.

After 1 hour I finally arrived and take my suitcase and walk outside. I look at my phone no response from my mom. I thought she would pick me up. " Tess" I hear someone yelling my name. I turn around and see my mom standing at the other side. I walk towards her and hug her tight. " i missed you sweetie". I feel her breaking up the hug. " I missed you too mom " I walk towards the car and put my suitcase in it. After a while we finally arrived home " sweetie I have to tell you something " my mom say with a worried voice. I put my suitcase on the ground and walk towards the kitchen table and sit down. " what's wrong mom" I look at her and see that she about to cry.

" I really wanted to tell you this sooner but I got to the hospital a couple days ago and uhm the found something in my pancreas " she say taking my hand. I feel the color draining from my face hoping she won't say what I'm thinking about. " mom please " i feel tears tuning down my cheeks. " they found stage 4 cancer Tess" I take my moms hand. " your gonna take chemo right your going to be better right" I see her head shake no. " the doctor told me the cancer is not treatable he gave me 1 month " I see my mom stand up and pull me into a hug. " when did you go to the doctor when did he told you you have 1 month". I'm afraid of the answer what's coming next. " 3 weeks ago ". " that means you only have a week why didn't you tell me mom "I start to get angry more and more. "I'm sorry sweetie I didn't want to make you worried" I shake my head and pull away from the hug. " so if I was staying a week longer and then came back you wouldn't even be here anymore " i shake my head again and walk towards the front door and open it. Before I close it I hear my mom yell my name but I couldn't do it anymore.

I run as fast as I can towards my favorite spot. I sit down on the grass and finally my tears start to run. I put my hands before my eyes and shake my head a couple time trying to convince myself it's just a dream. My mom is my everything she's they only family I have left. Why is he taking her away from. When is it enough. I start to scream and luckily nobody heard it. I just can't do it alone. I take my phone and call the only person that has hurt me but at the same time feel save with.

To be continued
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Written on 12-09-2023
Rewritten on 12-12-2023