I fell in love with my bully ( trigger warning selfharm)

009

Pov:Tessa

" I'm fine Hardin" I pull my hands back and walk away I'm so mad that someone just saved my life but I'm so thankful too. I was so scared. Why would he safe me he made it pretty clear that we weren't friend the last time. I shake my head and walk trough the park. I feel it's getting colder and wanted to take my jacket. It's gone. I walk as fast as I can to the spot where we where hoping it's there. No jacket " shit" I and walk to my house how could I forget my jacket.

I really hope he won't notice the letter. I open the door and get inside. I see my mom standing in the kitchen making diner. " hey sweetie you back " i see my mom putting the food on the table. " I hope your hunger I have made your favorite food" I smile and sit down. I take a bite. I'm not really hungry but I need my mom to see that I'm alright.

" I'm not really hungry" I say after a while. " you hardly ate something sweetheart" I see my mom looking at me with a worried face " I know mom but I'm not really hungry can you put it in the fridge for later" I smile at my mom hoping she will believe it because I know I won't eat it later . " yeah of course sweetie are you sick" I feel her feeling my head if I'm having a fever or something. " little bit tired mom nothing to worry about really" I stand up. " okay sweetie if there anything you want to talk about him here" I feel my mom kissing my forehead. " thanks mom" I smile lightly at her I really don't want to lie to her but I can't make her more worried then she already is .

" I'm going upstairs" I walk towards the hallway and walk upstairs. " okay sweetie" I hear my mom say from the kitchen. My mom is so sweet I feel bad for lying to her. I stand in front of the mirror and look at my self. I shake my head and walk towards my bed and sit down. I scroll trough my phone and find an cute picture of myself. That was a day that I felt good in my body I was happy.

I open Instagram and post the photo. (See bio). Im actually proud how good that picture is.
A couple seconds go by and see so many message under my post. I open Instagram and read.

Your so ugly that's why you never had a boyfriend.
You don't deserve to live go kill yourself.
You where a mistake to ever be born.
Your so annoying.
Why do people even like you.
You just fat.

I know they are the same persons but it still hurts so much. I turn my phone off and walk towards my desk. I sit down and look in the mirror I see a tear running down my cheek. Why does it hurts so much.

Trigger warning self harm and blood.

I open my drawer and look at the blade. It's the only think that can take my pain away. I roll up my sleeve and look at the fresh cuts on my wrist. I was so happy ik fucked up. I take the blade and put it to my skin. And cut my self with the thoughts ugly, fat, kill yourself, annoying and an mistake. I put the blade deeper and started to cut deeper till I saw blood flooding down my arm. I smile lightly and cut a couple cuts more on my arm. " Tessa" I hear a voice say at the window. First I thought I was hallucinating. I look up and I look in hardins shocked eyes.

I see him getting closer with a towel. I see him taking away the blade and put the towel on my wrist to stop the bleeding. " why" Hardin asked. I didn't answer and just looked how he pressed the towel more on my wrist. " do you have any first aid kit" I nod and point to my desk. " hold this tight Tess " I see Hardin standing up and walk towards my desk. The last time he called me that was a couple years ago. I feel Hardin sitting next to me and take my arm. I see him putting alcohol on an cloth. " this maybe is gonna hurt" I feel Hardin deposing my wounds. I feel my cute burning form the alcohol and squeeze my eyes shut.

" I know Tess but you have to be strong" Hardin say still cleaning my wounds. When he's done he take the bandage and wraps it around my arm. " thanks " I stand up and sit down on my bed. I feel Hardin sitting next to me and say " why Tess why are you hurting yourself. I look at Hardin with so much hate in my eyes and I couldn't hold it anymore " because of you and your friends". " me " Hardin is confused he knows what he did . " yes you Hardin you have hurt me in so many ways you know" I look at my hands. " I know and I'm sorry Tess " hardin say quietly. " why did you leave me" I start crying softly I was trying to stay strong but I failed again .

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Written on 10-08-2023
Rewritten on 08-12-2023