Fate || BENNIFER

Sweet Caroline

Jennifer's P.O.V

I stood in front of the mirror, turning around slightly to get a profile view as I lifted my shirt and kept it held up. What was I seeing? A still flat belly, where all that was visible was a faint c-section scar that would always be a reminder of the amazing things my body could do. I was in love with the life growing within me, but not sure if I was mentally ready for the changes that came along with that. I knew from experience that the so promised glow was something that could only be seen from other people's perspective. The bloating and the morning sickness were my perspective. Now I could only wait to watch my body change. I knew there would be a lot of advice and judgment around it, which is something that wouldn't bother me usually, but pregnancy is a particularly vulnerable time. For the first time, I found myself touching my belly, feeling present in the moment, making sure I would remember it. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply to clear my mind of all the negative thoughts. But my little moment of meditation was over when I heard the bell.

She was early, but she always was. She always visited, but this time, it had caught me by surprise. She was very intuitive, and that's what made me feel so nervous about this specific visit. And if that wasn't enough, Ben had texted me that morning to tell me that we needed to talk. I was a nervous wreck. Luckily, when my mom saw the twins, she kind of forgot I was there. She loved spending time with them, and they always had so much fun, she was the best grandmother.

"They are so big!" She said turning around to find me.

I was leaning on the threshold of their room when she had that realization. It was so special to see my mom with my children, such an indescribable feeling.

"You saw them like two weeks ago." I said amused.

"And they're bigger now!" She said in a funny tone.

She was right though. They would always be my babies, but the truth is that they were more like little adults now. I was very expressive, and my face always betrayed me. My mom knew that. It had been very useful for her when I was a teenager. And the mixed feelings I was having were strong enough to show.

Thinking that she was distracted playing with them, I walked away for a moment to compose myself, but I should've known she would be aware of my absence in the room. I walked into the living room, and she followed me. Her voice coming from behind surprised me.

"You look... different. Are you dating someone?" She asked as I turned around to find her with a curious smile on her face.

"Mmm...?" I said pretending I hadn't heard her.

"I can tell something's different. You know you can tell me anything." She said approaching me.

But she stopped. She froze midway and covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes moved up and down on me. She didn't say anything. I needed her to say something. It didn't seem so obvious to me, but it's true that a mother knows her children well, and she knew me very very well.

"Oh my god... I think I know what it is... you're glowing." She looked emotional as she spoke.

"Am I?" I asked surprised.

"Are you...?" She asked for confirmation. "Are you pregnant?"

My lips curved slightly, but that little smile didn't stop the tears from coming out. And it wasn't sadness at all. My hormones were kind of at fault, but the situation itself was very emotional, my mom was just learning that her baby was going to have a baby.

"You are!" She said cheerfully. The expression on her face was of pure joy.

But she also knew something was wrong, and only now I could understand how she felt, only now that I had children and I got to experience what it feels like to know that my babies are going through any kind of pain.

"Aw... my baby. Come here." She said opening her arms.

When I was a child, there was sure fix for a wound or a broken heart, and it was in the arms of my mom. Within her loving arms, I would find comfort for every need, my tears would be wiped, my heart would be comforted, and I would be given the promise that everything would be alright. And that's what I wanted my children to feel when they hugged me.

"I'm sorry... I'm crying a lot lately." I said trying to bring myself to laugh.

She took my hand and we walked to the couch, where we sat together like we used to do before life got hectic.

"Who's the father?" She asked.

"Ben..." I said in a low voice.

"Aw Ben... I always thought he was the one." She said caressing my face.

"He was." I replied in a teary voice.

"Are you in love with him?" She asked welcoming me into her embrace.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Does he know that?" She asked as she stroked my hair. I denied with my head. "If you're gonna have a baby together... he should know."

"I don't know if he's ready to hear that." I replied.

"Does he know you're pregnant?" She asked.

"I told him." I answered.

"Did he run?" She continued.

"No." I said pouting.

"Tell him how much you love him, Jennifer. Do it before it's too late. I could not stand seeing you as broken as the first time." She said as she rocked me in her arms.

When I closed my eyes, I still felt like a kid, safe in my mother's arms. When she began to hum Sweet Caroline, tears started streaming down my face, but it was joy what I felt. She had done that since I was born, and she did it when Max and Emme were babies. That song would always hold a special meaning for me. Despite all the concerns surrounding this situation, I was happy, and she was happy. Our family was growing.