Fate || BENNIFER

Here We Go Again

"Suddenly I was pregnant, again." I said. "My career on hold once more." I breathed out loudly.

"How does that make you feel?" A man's voice asked.

The question seemed to come from a distance, its words blurred by the fog of my own thoughts.

"Don't get me wrong, I feel blessed." My voice a whisper. "We wanted this. It was definitely unexpected, but something we wanted."

"Before you called it quits." A note of quiet observation.

I didn't respond. I was lost in my own emotions, the weight of my circumstances pressing down on me. The silence stretched, thick and heavy.

"Jennifer?" He cleared his throat.

I blinked, snapping out of my haze.

"Huh?" I said.

I was back, the gentle click of my therapist's pen tapping against his notebook catching my attention.

"You and Ben split up." His voice calm, even as his brow furrowed slightly.

"It's not final." I said defensively. "We're taking a break."

His eyes narrowed slightly, but he merely nodded, a hint of skepticism in his demeanor.

"Right." He said, scribbling something in his notebook. He paused, then continued. "When you found out about the pregnancy, what was your initial reaction? What was the first thought that crossed your mind?"

"Fuck, here we go again." I let out a dry chuckle, a desperate attempt to break the tension. He remained impassive.

"You hadn't come to see me for a while." He ignored my attempt at levity.

"Hectic life, you know." My voice strained.

"I do." He acknowledged. "That's why I was surprised when you called."

"I needed one of your magical, enlightening sessions." I shrugged.

"I wouldn't say magical, but I know these chats have helped you before." He smiled faintly.

"Right." I mumbled, my gaze fixed on the carpet.

"So..." He prompted, his voice a gentle nudge.

"It's a lot." I said.

"It is." He agreed, his expression sympathetic. "You have a lot on your plate." He paused, then asked. "How's Ben helping?"

"We don't see each other much." I whispered as I looked down.

"How is he doing?" He asked, his voice a quiet question.

"You'd have to ask him." I said. "I don't think he's being completely honest with me."

"Why do you think that?" He pressed, his gaze unwavering.

"He's lied about his feelings to protect mine before." My voice barely a murmur. "And..."

"And?" He urged, his voice patient.

"He's been... distant." My words catching in my throat.

"You're not living together anymore." His gaze intense.

"No. He picks Grace up and leaves for a week. Then he brings her back, tells me how she's done... and leaves again." I explained. "He's a good father."

"Does he show interest in the pregnancy? Does he attend medical appointments with you?" He leaned forward.

"Sometimes, yeah." I mumbled, my eyes drifting to the cityscape outside the window.

"Have you set boundaries?" He asked.

"With the baby?" I was confused.

"Since you're no longer in a relationship, this whole process is completely different. Do you ever think about what will happen when the baby is born? How will you two work this out?" His gaze meeting mine.

"I can't think about that now." I whispered.

"I see you're still wearing your engagement ring." He said. "Do you want to talk about that?"

"Not much to talk about. I have a hard time letting go." A beat of silence. "And the paparazzi... I just don't need more drama surrounding this situation." I confessed.

"I get it." He said softly. "It's a delicate time, and I'd like to think that you have a strong emotional support network, family or friends."

"I do." My gaze softened. "Leah and I recently reconnected. She's getting divorced, and I thought I would reach out to offer her some emotional support. Turns out she's the one helping me navigate this. We're closer than ever."

"That's good." He said. "And how about your children? How did Max and Emme react?"

"We decided to wait and tell them when it's safe for it to leak. They like telling this kind of stuff at school." I explained.

"The world doesn't know." He said.

"Not yet."