Fate || BENNIFER

Lost Battle

Jennifer's P.O.V

"The fairy was pleased with Pinocchio's bravery and she turned him into a real boy. From that day, he was a very good boy and never missed school. Father and son lived happily ever after." I closed the book and thought they were asleep. It felt too easy.

After watching them for a moment, I put the book back on the shelf and turned off the light, but before I could leave, I realized they were still awake.

"When will you be back?" Max asked in a sleepy voice.

"I'll be back before you wake up. I promise." I walked to his bed to kiss his forehead. "If you need anything, Ben will be here all the time."

"Is he our dad now?" He asked sitting up.

"Do you miss your dad?" I asked sitting next to him. He nodded, and it broke my heart. "Well, Ben is not your dad, but he loves you as if he were."

"He's good." He said in his tiny voice.

"Do you like him?" I asked, and he nodded as he yawned. "Sweet dreams, sweetie."

I tucked him in and kissed his cheek before standing up. I made sure his teddy bear was next to him and his bedside lap on. When I turned around, I saw Emme was also awake.

"I like your dress, mommy." She said.

"Thank you, baby." I replied, and I kissed her goodnight one more time before leaving the room.

When I walked out, Ben was leaning with his arm on the wall next to their room, and he had a big smile on his face. He had been listening. I walked past him mirroring his grin, but he grabbed my waist before I was out of his reach. He kissed my cheek from behind and wrapped his arms around my body squeezing me slightly. I giggled. I turned around still surrounded by his arms and I stood on tiptoe to meet his lips. I would've loved his company at the awards, but weren't ready to take that step. Besides, he had offered himself to stay at home just in case the cocos needed anything, and I loved him for that.

"I have to go." I said softly as we swayed slowly from side to side.

"I know. I can't wait to see you perform." He said leaning in for a kiss.

"Don't miss it." I smiled.

"I won't." He took my hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it before I walked away.

It wasn't new for me, the feeling of getting out of the car to be received by a multitude of photographers shouting my name to try and get the best picture. I was used to the flashing, the noise or the pressure of having a neat presence during my short walk on the carpet. But something didn't feel right, and it wasn't my dress because I made sure to wear a loose fit so not a single person could tell something was different. What was it then? I kept walking, and though other people stepped on the carpet, the focus was still on me for some reason. My first impulse was to ask Benny, but he was just as clueless. I was about to finish my walk when I heard it, her name. Was I the only one who didn't know that she was attending too? That's when I understood all the extra attention I was getting from photographers and reporters, they were waiting for that moment to occur, and they definitely knew we would be there at the same time. I didn't look back, not even once. I wasn't willing to give them what they wanted so easily.

I had to perform in less than an hour, and the way I felt about it had radically changed. I stood in front of the mirror, my hands on the sink gave me balance, and my thoughts started to make me feel sick. I had to collect myself and go back out there like I was okay, like her presence didn't disturb me at all. How could I do that? I couldn't use any water on my face to try to feel better because I would've ruined my makeup, but I washed my hands just to waste a little more time. Leaving would've been a better choice, but that's something I didn't know until the door opened. I looked up thinking it would be someone from my team, but I immediately looked back down when I realized it wasn't. It was a moment of awkwardness. Whenever I looked in the mirror, she would do the same, making our eyes meet repeatedly. I dried my hands and thought it was over, but when I walked to the door, she spoke.

"Did he tell you we're still married?"

That made me stop for a moment, but I didn't turn around to look at her. I knew a lost battle when I saw one, so I didn't clap back.

It was time for an outfit change and Benny cared to remind me. My mind wasn't where it was supposed to be, so I appreciated the help I got after I walked out of that restroom. Luckily, there was something extraordinary that happened every time I got on stage, my mind only focused on the lyrics and the steps, and anything that happened before would never interfere with my performance. It was like blinking, and I was out. I wasn't in the mood to stay for the whole event, so I just changed into a more comfortable outfit and got ready to leave. My hand was already on the door handle of my dressing room when I heard my phone's ringtone coming from my clutch bag. I grabbed it and turned it around to find Ben's name on the screen. My thumb moved between the green and the red button, hesitating, trying to decide what to do. Neither of the two options felt right at the moment, but my choice was to hang up.