Fate || BENNIFER

Different

January 2013

Jennifer's P.O.V

Shiny curls parted to the side exposing my neck, diamond earrings hanging in cascade matched the silvery makeup, and topped the body-baring cream lace gown. A sparkly screen covered my skin and bathed my hair in gleamy little crystals. A few drops of perfume on my neck gave me the final touch.

The door opened in front of the long and well-known red carpet. I got ready for the camera flashes, as Benny surrounded the car to help me out, holding my hand to finally step out.

I gracefully began my walk on the red carpet as I focused hardly not to trip over my dress, tightening the grip on my purse to relieve some of the pressure I felt in front of the flashing, the voices chanting my name, and the hundreds of eyes I had on me.

Beyond the blinding lights, those who had walked the carpet gathered to catch up. Actors, singers, dancers, directors. We never knew who we'd find flaunting their best looks.

I was looking around, distracted by the noisy front full of photographers when a whisper in my ear got all my attention. I turned around looking for the sneaky person who had managed to approach me as discreetly as to go unnoticed, and my breathing came to a sudden halt when the person I saw turned out to be Ben Affleck. My look went rapidly back to the front of the carpet, ignoring what had happened and showing my best smile.

Benny and the rest of the team came to my rescue, making me walk away from the crowded spot where I was starting to feel beyond overwhelmed. The event wasn't close to start yet, and we didn't necessarily have to take our seat the moment we arrived.

"Let's take the elevator." Benny pressed the button.

My attention was abruptly drawn back to the carpet as I heard a sudden thud. My head snapped to the side, and my eyes darted to the source of the commotion, only to find a reporter sprawled on the ground. And then, my eyes landed on a familiar figure, bending down to help the reporter rise from the ground. It was Ben. His furrowed brow and hurried movements indicated that he was in a rush, his gaze fixed on me from a distance. I could clearly see that he was trying to get to me.

"I'll go in alone. I need a second." I almost begged with my face.

"Are you alright?" He asked with a tone of concern in his voice, as I handed him my purse.

"Yes... I'm perfectly... okay." My voice quavered slightly, but I did my best to conceal it.

"See you upstairs then." He said while signaling the rest of the group to take another way.

I smiled until he had completely turned around, then I restlessly waited for the elevator to reach the level. It felt like an eternity. The doors finally opened and I walked inside, straight to the button panel to press the one where the awards were taking place. Feeling relieved to be alone at last, I let my body lean gently on the wall, patiently waiting for the doors to close and have a moment to breathe.

But as the gap between the doors narrowed, fate played a cruel trick. Through the shrinking opening, I caught a glimpse of Ben. Our eyes locked, a mixture of surprise and longing mirrored in both gazes.

"Jen."

"Ben."

In that fleeting moment, we had just enough time to say each other's names before the doors sealed us off from one another.

As the elevator began its ascent, I couldn't help but wonder how awkward that elevator ride would have been if Ben had managed to slip inside before the doors closed. The confined space, the undeniable tension between us.

The event finally started, and I had to present an award with Jason Statham. The elevator moment that had been plaguing my thoughts was temporary forgotten as I went back to my seat, my mind now too busy with the sensory overload of being on stage.

But then, as if fate had a way to play with my emotions, Halle Berry took the stage to present the award for Best Director. It was Ben, of course, and I was genuinely happy for him. The room erupted in applause, and my eyes were drawn to him as he made his way to the stage. He looked devastatingly handsome, his tuxedo fitting him perfectly, accentuating his strong features. His confident stride exuded a magnetic charm that had always captivated me. My gaze lingered on him as he accepted his award with grace and humility.

His eyes scanned the room, until they landed on mine. It was a look that stirred a mix of emotions within me, most of them I didn't want to feel. I loved and hated the fact that I was the only one in the room who knew what had been happening between us. My lip instinctively found himself between my teeth, biting down gently, a subconscious response to the intensity of those memories. I couldn't help but wonder what might have been, had circumstances been different. But I knew all too well that it had to end.

I couldn't bear the thought of crossing paths with Ben once the event drew to a close. It was a bittersweet truth that I had come to terms with, a decision I had made for my own well-being. So I stood, surrounded by curious glances from those nearby. As I walked towards the exit, I could feel the eyes of the onlookers following my every step, but I paid them no attention. I refused to look back, for the fear that my gaze might inadvertently meet Ben's again, causing emotions I had worked so hard to bury to resurface.

Outside the theater, the cool night air greeted me. I leaned against the wall, taking a moment to steady myself, my heart still pounding in my chest. The distant sound of applause echoed through the walls, a reminder that Ben was still on stage, accepting his well-deserved award. But I just continued my walk to the car, my footsteps purposeful and determined.

Pushing aside my inner turmoil, I mustered a warm smile to approach the group of fans waiting by the car. I graciously accepted their requests for autographs and posed for pictures. After spending a few minutes with them, I thanked them, before disappearing into the backseat of the car. I settled into the leather seat, leaned back, and closed my eyes, still questioning whether I was making the right decisions.