Siren In The Sky // Bradley Bradshaw

Chapter 10

I barely register the knock on the door. I've been sitting and staring at the living room wall for at least 20 minutes. When the knock sounds again I heave out a heavy sigh and go get the door. Flinging it open I see my father with his fist still raised to knock for the third time. I roll my eyes and turn away, leaving the door open for him to walk in. 

I make my way into the kitchen, searching the fridge for ingredients to make dinner. The air is warm and stiff, awkwardness hovering in the space between us. When I place what I need on the counter I sneak a glance at him. Maverick's gaze flits about the room, a mixture of nostalgia and sadness creeps into his irises.

How could I forget? This used to be his home too. I glance at the hallway leading to the front door. 10 years. It's been 10 years since he walked out that door. And now he's back. 

It's silent as I cook, both of us lost in our thoughts. Am I the problem? Is it irrational for me to still be angry at him after a decade?  I shake my head at the thought. It wasn't just about that night. He made it worse for himself. Every day that passed and he didn't reach out, he didn't try. Then he comes crashing back into my life a few months ago and wants everything to be the way it was? I don't think so. 

We eat quickly. I can see him trying to make eye contact with me but I force my eyes to stay on my plate. When I'm finished I get up to go wash the dishes but Mav grabs it from my hands. "Here, let me," he mutters. The first words exchanged all night. As I watch him rinse and dry the plates I'm taken back to a simpler time. My mom cooked and my dad always did the dishes afterward. That was their routine.

Mom. I haven't thought about her in a while. I wish you were here Mom. I need you. 

"I'm going to bed. You can sleep in my old room," I state, sliding out of my chair to head upstairs. "Wait!" he rushes to me. "Can we- can we talk?" I eye him for a moment. My dad always seemed invincible, like a father does to a little girl. But now he stands before me nervously fidgeting. It's a sight I never expected to see- but I'm too tired to really care. "Not tonight." 

Mav opens his mouth to say something but I stop him. "We will, just not tonight." I sigh out, exhaustion clear on my face. He purses his lips and nods, leaving me to go. Despite being tired beyond belief I stay awake for many more hours, scared to let sleep take me. Until finally, I can't fight it back anymore.

The next day comes all to quickly. I get out of bed practically still asleep and get ready. My phone dings with a text from Regina so I grab my bag and head out. Luckily Mav has already left for the day so I don't need to have an awkward conversation first thing in the morning. 

I lean back in the seat of her car when I get in, closing my eyes briefly. "What's with you? Sad that Rooster is gone?" I glance over at Regina while she drives before looking forward again. "We got into a fight before he left." When she stops at a red light she glances over at me. "What about?" I groan and relay last night to her. 

"HE DID NOT SAY THAT TO YOU?" Regina yells, appalled. I nod, clearly still upset. "The worst part is that he's right. He does take care of me and I'm just- well I'm difficult." Regina finally parks at her apartment and faces me. "For starters, he is NOT right. Don't even think that. That's rediculous. With the shit you've been through you deserve to be the most difficult and selfish person in the world. And yet, you mainly worry about how 'inconvenient' you make everyone else's lives. For starters, you are not a burden in the slightest. So stop thinking that." Regina points her finger at me with a 'don't you dare argue' expression on her face.

"Secondly, stop giving so many fucks about how you're effecting everyone else. You need to focus on you. Sure, physically you are doing better but mentally you need help. And I know that you feel like if you go to therapy you'll be that little girl all over again-" "How did you-" "Shut up, I'm your best friend. Of course I know how your mind works." I purse my lips. It's unnerving how well she knows me sometimes.

"But, I think you should go. It was a traumatic experience. I'm going." My eyebrows raise. "You are?" I ask. "Yeah. When we were in the snow... and we had to- to pull out the metal from your leg.." I wince and look away. "The point is that even watching it was traumatic. I can't imagine what it must be like for you. And I want to move on from it so it's not still lingering when this little guy comes around." Regina says, rubbing her stomach. "But, there's nothing wrong with getting a little help." I pause and absorb her words. I can feel the cuts on my legs burning under my jeans. I do need help.

"What about Bradley? How do I fix that whole issue?" I ask as we get out of the car. She thinks as we walk up the stairs to her door. "Maybe he should go too? It could be like, I don't know. A guilt thing? That he didn't know how to help you then and doesn't know how to help now. I truly don't think he meant what he said." Stepping inside she turns to me. "That doesn't mean let him off easy. Make him work for forgiveness because that was such a dick thing to do." I laugh. "Yes mam." I salute her.

She laughs along before her smile fades. I can see Regina contemplating her next words and it makes me nervous. "Just to be clear I ship you and Bradley hard. You guys are my OTP. But, it sounds like he's been so focused on trying to 'fix' you, not just for you but to avoid his own trauma from the situation. And I think that if he isn't willing to work out his own shit, then maybe you guys won't work out."

My smile drops from my face. I never thought of that outcome. What if we don't workout? It seems that over the course of our relationship everything has gotten in the way. What if we're not meant for each other? Maybe I'm supposed to start over with someone new? Someone who I don't have so much history with? But I can't do that. It's him. It's always been him.