At My Worst (Eng - ATEEZ FANFIC)

4 - Saya POV

1 month after the accident...

I still remember that day...
We were in your living room sitting on the big couch 'cause it was the most comfy one, although we were on opposite sides. I had my legs crossed and was sitting facing you, while you were distracted fixing the laces of your new shoes you had bought that very morning. Something about that moment seemed so perfect, just us sitting in silence without it being awkward; seeing you struggle was the cutest thing ever, while you scrunched your nose when the laces wouldn't cooperate I was mesmerized in you, in your eyes. I was drawn to you, to the endless peace you emanated; I had never felt that way before.
-Seong?- I called you
- Yeah?- You said without taking your eyes off of those laces.
- I love you..- You froze and I could see the laces slowly slipping through your fingers until you weren't holding them anymore. You kept your eyes down, still frozen.
- Huh?- You replied as if you hadn't heard me, slowly raising your head and eyes towards me.
- I love you...I love you Seong- I repeated. The biggest smile started to appear on your face along with a solitaire tear that I interpreted as a happiness tear. I smiled too, feeling an indescribable nervousness flowing inside of me but, at the same time, an unexplainable relish. It had been 2 months since we started dating, it had been 2 months since I had been happier than ever, 2 months learning how to love you until I could finally say it, right there with just you and me.
I got closer to you, I caressed your face with my hands, wiping your tears away at the time my own tears dropped. You laughed at the irony of us crying while feeling joyful, I laughed with you. We brought our foreheads together and I felt the warmth of your hands on my cheeks.
-I love you too- You said- I love you so much- Then I felt your kiss. We had found each other after so many disappointments, we had found our safe place, we were each other's home, we were each other's everything, we... were.

-Hey- I hear wooyoung calling me- Hey, Saya wake up- I open my eyes and I see you, again in that bed. I try to get used to it but I just can't, how am I supposed to accept I won't have you as before? How am I supposed to live without you being there by my side anymore? How?
-You have to eat something- Wooyoung tells me when I have incorporated myself from being curled up on the small couch next to your bed.

-What time is it?- I ask in the midst of a yawn.
-10 a.m- I look up and see him clearly, I stare at him for a few seconds, he doesn't flinch nor look away- Did you really sleep well in here?- He asks as he sees how small the sofa is, he seems worried about me. I don't blame him, I haven't slept at home for a few days already. I can't leave this place.

- It's not that bad

-You know you don't have to be here everyday, right?

-It's too early for that talk, Woo- I stand up and fix the blankets covering you. I don't like people telling me that I should leave and put this behind me, it's so stupid and rude.
-Sorry- He looks down and takes a deep breath- Mingi is here, he brought you breakfast-
-Mingi?- I turn fast back to him- My sunshine Mingi?
-Go, I'll stay here. Just don't run through the halls, you'll bump into someone!- He yells as he sees me running towards the door.
-Too far to hear you!- I yell back when I'm outside the room.

I arrive at the parking lot where Mingi always waits for me. He's standing outside his car scrolling through his phone and I see the bags with food on top of it, I rush to him.
-Mingi!!!- He raises his head and spots me, he smiles and I do too. He waves at me when he sees me coming. He puts his phone in his pocket and opens his arms, as he knows what I'll do. I jump right into his arms for a hug, he lifts me a little bit and then puts me down.
-Hi, twinkle star- He's so tall and handsome yet, I have never felt romantically attracted to him unlike every girl who passes by him.

I remember how in highschool and middle school kids sometimes thought we were dating. Thing is, our little Mingi is a bit too shy among lots of people, and I took him in as if it was my duty to protect him, especially when annoying girls got too close to him and made him uncomfortable. I met him in elementary school, even then he was tall; he was, in fact, the last one in the formation line. One day he got very sad because he was the last in line and asked the teacher why he always had to be at the end. The teacher told him that, if he counted from where he was, he was first in line, that made him so happy. I still remember how his smile shone that day. In that moment, I swore to myself I was not going to let anyone hurt him. We've stuck together ever since, growing fond of each other, he became my best friend.
No matter what, I know he will always be there for me and I will always be there for him. He's, of course, not that shy little boy anymore, he doesn't need my protection now and I am very proud of the man he has become.