At My Worst (Eng - ATEEZ FANFIC)

26 - SAYA POV

Present day...

Sometimes you find love when you least expect it, or you fall in love with a person you would've never imagined.

Sometimes you realize soon enough, sometimes it can take years, decades.

Sometimes you think you're in love, but you really aren't.

Sometimes you find who you think is the one for you, because you have a connection you can't explain and everything seems so perfect with them, as if the whole world worked on your favor, but then you find someone else and, the world does not revolve around both of you but together you make it turn, your connection might be explainable but it's unbreakable, maybe not everything is perfect but nothing could ever fulfill your soul the most.

That's the difference between the love of your life and your soulmate.

Although it might be confusing, once you feel them both, it's like if a blindfold was taken off of your eyes, you understand how much you need them both but also who is the one you will need forever by your side. I didn't understand it at first, I thought I would lose them both, I thought I was a terrible person for not being able to let go of any of them, but then I saw into his eyes and felt it. I felt him.

There is a certain feeling in me when he's around. Just watching him from afar isn't enough, something always pulls me to be as close to him as humanly possible. I can not simply be a planet in his solar system, I have to be in his same orbit, make myself turn at his tempo and frequency, let him take over my moon and stars, and together become a galaxy.

I had not been able to find the right words to express my feelings, my heart was working faster than my brain. But it was until that day when I saw him sleeping that everything made sense.

The sound of his breath, his eyelashes almost touching his cheekbones, his hair falling over his forehead, how he shivered while dreaming, the shape of his lips. Every line of his facial features that I wanted to trace with my own hands, every hair of his that I wanted to count, every mole I wanted to kiss. I could just think one thing and nothing else…

-I love you…

I said. He was sleeping next to me, both lying on his bed after I brought him home. I had made some dinner for him and was about to call him, when I saw him sound asleep and it felt so endearing to me; I was drawn by the calmness and quiet that I went to lay down next to him. And that feeling…

The feeling that I didn't want to be anywhere else with anyone else. I thought I had lived several perfect moments before, but none of them could've compared to this one. I had found my answer.

-I love you, Wooyoung…

I repeated and, in between dreams, he smiled.