At My Worst (Eng - ATEEZ FANFIC)

21 - OMNISCIENT

4 months after the accident...

-Will she be okay? Their anniversary is tomorrow. - Jongho speaks, laying on the living room's sofa, while Wooyoung cooks dinner. That is how he has been repaying Jongho's parents for letting him stay there.

-I will go see her. - Focused on slicing the vegetables without cutting his fingers.

-Do you really think you should?- He pauses the program he was watching, as he felt unsure about his friend's words.

-I'm not leaving her alone. - Reminiscing the last time he saw her completely broke, he wouldn't forgive himself for not being by her side.

-I know, but you know what I mean. Mingi and I could go instead.- Worried about his friend, he wishes to keep him away from riskful situations regarding his feelings, as he knows it would turn out terribly now that she's vulnerable.

-I won't try anything, I promise. Regardless of my feelings, she's still my best friend.

-Does she know?- Curious, Jongho ends up turning off the T.V.

-No, I never told her.- With a shade of regret in his voice, Wooyung adds the final touches to his dish.

-Never?! - Surprised, he quickly sits up. - I thought you had...

-What kind of friend would I have been if I confessed to my best friend who was dating another of my best friends?

-Wait. You didn't tell her even before they started dating?

-I was going to, but it was too late. I was not going to ruin it.- Thinking of the countless times he saw her unrecognizably happy with Seonghwa.

-I'm sorry, man.

-Why do you always say that? It only makes me feel worse.- Whining and minimally pretending to cry, he responds.

-Good, 'cause you lost your chance, that is something you should feel bad about.- Pointing at Wooyoung with the remote, he scolds him.

-Shut up and come here, dinner is ready.

***

-How many times do I have to tell you I'm okay?- Opening the door to her apartment, she recognizes the guy standing in front of her. Holding a brown paper bag, wearing his favorite worn-out black Converse, the oversized white hoodie he had owned for the past 2 years, and the usual black ripped jeans he wears at least once a week.

-I only brought you dinner - When he walks in, she closes the door. - No hospital visit today?

-I couldn't go out. I felt too weak for that.- Crossing her arms, she stands waiting for him to put the bag on the dining table.

-I know what day is today, S. Maybe you should go. - Shaking her head, she answers.

-No. I can't see him like that today.

-Okay, I understand.- He doesn't, actually. How could he? He just said what he knew she wanted to hear. - Come on, eat something. I cooked it only for you. - But when he raises his head, she sees her covering her face with both hands.

It has become a common scenery for him, seeing her crying is now something familiar to him, as heartbreaking as it sounds.

He walks to her and embraces her tenderly.

-I'm sorry- She says- I'm sorry- She repeats- I'm okay- But she isn't.- I'm okay - She steps away and tries to give him a smile. Walking straight to the dining table, she continues as if nothing happened- Looks delicious, thank you.