At My Worst (Eng - ATEEZ FANFIC)

24 - OMNISCIENT

Early 2022...

-Hey, what's up?- At an empty restaurant, with kitchen assistants finishing up their shift, Wooyoung picks up his phone.

-Hey, you're closing up now, right? Can we meet up?- Walking through the dark university paths, softly illuminated by streetlights, Seonghwa carries his backpack on one shoulder as he checks the hour on his wrist watch.

-Yeah, everyone's leaving now- Putting the phone slightly apart from his face- Hey, Yeonjun! You still gotta pay for that plate you broke!

-He broke another one?- He laughs as he recalls the time Yeonjun broke Wooyoung's favorite china and tried to glue it together- Anyway, I'm on my way out of class. I'll be there in 10.- Dropping his backpack in the back seat of his car, he then gets in. Taking a deep breath, he tightly grips the steering wheel. He looks up and stares deeply into the empty parking lot in front of him, determined, he starts driving.

-Did you change something?- Opening the door, Seonghwa walks into his friend's establishment, cautiously observing the ceiling, the walls and floor.

-I took down Mingi's autograph. He didn't answer my call yesterday.- Dressed in his white uniform, chef Wooyoung carefully cleans the counter.- That'll show him- Putting the rag away, he now directs his attention to his visitor- So, what do you wanna eat?

***

-This is amazing- Still with half a bite in his mouth, Seonghwa expresses his food admiration- You should open a restaurant- He laughs at his own joke. Wooyoung smiles, there is no better thing for him than to hear the people he cares for love his cooking.

-So, what is it? You want to tell me something, don't you? You got that look. - After his friend finished eating, he asks. He sits in front of him, at the other side of the counter.

-Ah, yeah... - Gathering courage, rubbing his thighs, he finally takes his hand to his pocket.

Wooyoung, analyzing his moves, inquisitive, since he hadn't seen his friend this nervous ever before. He wonders about possible bad news, or maybe he got a big job offer, no, that couldn't be, he wouldn't be nervous for something like that, he would be enormously excited. What could it be? Now he's anxious too.

Seonghwa puts a small black box on top of the counter, right in the center, in front of their eyes.

-Is that...?

-Yes...

-Seong... Wow, that's... That's huge, man. - Mixed feelings meet inside of him. He's truly happy for him and Saya, but he can't help but feel hurt and disappointed in himself.

-Wooyoung - Doubting for a moment, thoroughly thinking the words he'd say next, even questioning if he should say them at all.- I know you're in love with her. I've known since the day I got here.- Slowly moving his sight from the small black box to Wooyoung's eyes, Seonghwa confesses.

-Huh? No, I'm... I - Going through his memories, thinking if he had let his feelings be too obvious, if he had spilled a look, a smile, if his nervousness had been too noticeable, if his care for her had been too much, thinking, thinking. For a second, he felt scared, he felt sorry for feeling that way. "I even left", he thinks. -

-I'm not mad at you, in fact, I meant to say that I'm grateful. You've always been there for her, making sure she has everything she needs.- He speaks sincerely from his heart. He knows love is something you can't control nor choose on whom your feelings fall. He knows he left because of them, and he knows she loves him too, even if she herself doesn't.

-Seong...

-Thank you for looking after her, now let me do it. You don't have to worry anymore, I promise you she'll be safe with me.- Putting any rudeness aside, he recognizes all of Wooyoung's efforts and cares for the girl he loves, the girl they love. Either way, no matter how nice he speaks these words, the truth is a boundary has been marked, regardless of their friendship. But they understand. They are loyal to their friendship just as they are to their love for her.

-I know, she couldn't be better with anyone else.- He has always known where Saya's heart truly lies. He has always known he never had a chance, or that's what he convinced himself to believe in order not to have false hopes. But he also knows what kind of person Seonghwa is and if there is someone who would be unconditional to her, it's him. He is the only one she has opened her entire heart to, and that says a lot about him, enough for Wooyoung to be certain she would have someone next to her who would be willing to give his life for her. He wouldn't ask for anything less than that for Saya, and Seonghwa was the one, no one else.

-That means a lot coming from you, I know how special you are to her, how special she is to you. But you're also special to me, you're my brother, Wooyoung. That's why I came to tell you first, I'll tell Hongjoong tomorrow. I'll propose on our 2nd anniversary.- Looking down, he smiles, imagining the proposal scenario.

Wooyoung, on the other hand, he feels Seonghwa's honest words, although his biggest secret had been discovered, actually, it was never hidden, not from him at least. Which makes him wonder just how many people really know. He sits there, processing, assimilating and, finally, accepting his true place. But relieved, since she won't have to walk alone anymore. As long as she's safe, that's enough for him.

-Thank you for telling me. - He tries to smile.

-I have something else to say, a favor actually.

-Anything.

-If something ever happens to me, I want you to know that I would only be able to rest if you stayed with her.- Fighting back the emotional rush, Wooyoung stands up.

-Come here man, let me give you a hug. - He walks to his friend with his arms open.

-Just don't steal her on the wedding day. - He says jokingly.

-I can't promise anything.- He laughs and slightly turns his sight to the engagement ring box.

Married or not, I will be there for her until my dying breath, he thinks.

***

-I did what you asked me to, I took care of her as I promised. But she's always been yours, and if you're coming back, I won't fight you. I couldn't even dare to try it.- He stands next to the hospital bed, speaking to his friend.

I wonder if he listens, he thinks

It's been a couple of weeks since the first sign of awakening, and he's done it again, stepping away and putting his heart aside for the greater good, or at least that's what he says to himself to lessen the pain of losing her again. He made a promise for as long as he wasn't there, and the day is coming when he will have to put that promise on pause.

-Woo?- A female voice comes from behind him. Saya had gone with the nurse to update some files about Seonghwa. It has been easier for her to deal with such things, weeks ago she would wait until Yeosang or Seonghwa's mom came by. Truth is, accepting Wooyoung's feelings, and letting herself to start over have been the beginning of her healing. Even physically she seems better, and her appetite is back.

-Yeah? You're done?- He turns to her, deeply hoping she didn't hear him.

-Yeah, let's go.- She extends her arm, waiting for Wooyoung to hold her hand. She has a smile on her face, a smile that shows up when he holds her hand, which is not any smile, it's the smile of a freer Saya- I'll come tomorrow, Seong. Don't go anywhere. - She jokes, surprising Wooyoung. After a few seconds he laughs and instinctively kisses her forehead.

-Let's go.- He closes the door behind them.

She would always say goodbye gently running her finger through his face, like they used to do. But it's been a couple of days since she hasn't done it, not because she is forcing herself to let go, but because she doesn't feel that piercing in her heart when she doesn't say goodbye that way. But there was someone who felt the change.

And as if he had received a calling, his eyes opened.