Chaotic Hangouts

Perfect Cell Vs KOSA

Chaotic Hangouts

Chapter 17: Perfect Cell Vs KOSA

Date: October 20th, 2023

It was a nice partly cloudy and sunny day at Cell's arena. The arena, a flat area consisting of many large concrete blocks with spires on all of its 4 corners was clear of anything random. No couches, spaceships, giant creatures, toilets, bathtubs, hot tubs, bars, or anything of the sort. Just an ordinary day with Perfect Cell hanging out with his best friend Kermit the Frog in the Devil Artemis Universe. Cell stares annoyed at Kermit: "Kermit, I'm bored and tired of waiting around. Why the hell did you ask me to meet you here in my arena 30 minutes ago and why haven't you said anything?" "Cell, it's coming." "Whats coming?!" "You'll see." "God damn it, Kermit! You know I hate surprises!" "Don't worry, Cell. I promise you're going to like this surprise." "I have a bad feeling about this." I also had a bad feeling about that. Why? Because Truck-kun randomly sent me to the DAU or more specifically, to the outskirts of Cell's arena for absolutely no reason. Just as I was finishing up doing some sparring battle-royale style with fellow knights. I'm still sweaty and a bit tired from the sparring. For several minutes after that, there was complete and utter silence. And then, a paper file folder just showed up out of nowhere. Cell picks it up: "Kermit, what the hell is this supposed to be? *reads it* The f*c* is KOSA?! What have you done?!" "Open it, Cell. Open it." "*sigh* Fine. Only because I want to know what the hell is going on!" The android opens it or rather, he attempts to: "Kermit, it's not opening! Why is it not opening?!" "I have no idea, Cell. Maybe it wasn't meant to be opened." I recognize KOSA as an abbreviation of something pure evil from my timeline.

That's when it hits me. I mutter to myself: "So this is my first adventure in a while involving some kind of chaotic hangout.. Just great.. I already know that KOSA is the same one that I'm afraid of becoming a thing in my universe now that I have made this realization.." As Kermit and Cell continue to exchange dialogue over the KOSA thing, I stepped onto Cell's arena, realizing I have no choice but to explain what KOSA is to Cell because the fandangled thing won't open. Cell is getting angry, both at Kermit and it. The soft clinking of my armor gets their attention. Cell stops yelling, turns around, and exclaims: "Okay, who in the hell are you?! Do you have something to do with whatever the crap is inside of this paper folder?!" Kermit adds: "Awesome! The other surprise is here!" "The other surprise?! KERMIT!" "..So, are you the reason Truck-kun sent me here? Well, I'm honestly not surprised. Don't mind me if you smell my sweat. Despite a odorless odor eliminating substance I use often, it seems that it cannot defeat the smell caused by sweat. Oh well." "..WHAT THE HELL KIND OF INTRODUCTION IS THAT?!" "Well, I didn't exactly expect to be sent to the Devil Artemis Universe. I knew it was going to happen someday but I didn't expect the when or how of it. My apologies for that being my introduction. It was neither logical or knightly of me. I just came here after engaging in one hell of a sparring session. You're Perfect Cell and Kermit. It's nice to meet you. I'm Swiftdrawer. I serve no lord, king, god, or what have you. I only serve the people as a knight who defends the innocent, protects space-time, and so on."

Kermit smirks: "I knew contacting Truck-kun to bring you here was the right move!" "..KERMIT! Will someone please explain to me what the point of any of this has been?! Furthermore, I'd like to know what's inside this damn folder!" "I have a bad feeling about that folder. This is the Devil Artemis Universe.. If KOSA stands for what I think it stands for.. The DAU is absolutely doomed." "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT KOSA THAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT IT WILL DESTROY THE DAU AND MY CHANNEL ALONG WITH IT?!" "KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act is a bill introduced a number of times to the legislature of the United States. They say it's meant to protect children. The name implies that. However, it's not that simple. *something unbeknownst to us starts changing in the folder*" "And what the f*c* is that supposed to mean?!" "Well.. If passed, it will create harm that goes beyond anything words can describe. It will give attorney generals of states the power to be arbiters of what is considered safe content for kids online. The US is a country that is currently veering on the edge of becoming a fascist state due to the inaction of the Democrats and the Nazi rhetoric of the Republicans. One of the main sponsors of the bill stated publicly that the bill is intended to get rid of queer content online. It would cause things like age verification to be put in so many places online, causing a mass invasion of privacy in the process."