Chaotic Hangouts

Trapped In US Election Discourse

Chaotic Hangouts

Chapter 34: Trapped In US Election Discourse

Date: October 29th, 2024

So.. We had sort of a very bizarre day again.. It all began with myself and others returning from yet another exhausting and painful intense battle to save a universe from being conquered by the fascist and genocidal Nacirema Empire, led by the tyrannical Katherine Glassgate who briefly became a God until we stripped her of that divine status in the very same battle she obtained it. Aizen has been lost in his own little world now that he's back in confinement in the Soul Society and Katherine and her entourage of twisted villains have recovered from the humiliating defeat we handed to them through among other things, a plan called Operation Amusement Park which is even more absurd than it sounds. We have to fight them again and again and it sucks, I want it over with. But Operation Amusement Park shocked our foes long enough for us to force them to run with their tails in between their legs. Many of us wish we could have just ended everything with that and taken the villains all down for good. But they got away and we couldn't find them afterwards despite even the attempts of some of the assassins in our collective to track them down and eliminate them. It's been about 2 weeks since all of that went down and well, I just helped save the world of Yugioh Abridged from being taken over again. This isn't the first time that world has been under attack in our conflicts with villains. Not at all. So guess what happened when we finally got back? Well, we were all completely exhausted. And we looked like giant messes as is often the case after making it out of a intense battle, even one where a not so small portion of our comrades did ridiculous things like yelling: "CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!" I didn't say anything, my throat hurt too much from the exhaustion to speak.

Myself and the others living in Miitopia who just got back from the battle all just collectively bring out bottles of water and drink from them before fixing ourselves up with potions and magic. That's when Carlos says to me: "Hey Swift! I want fruit from Jungle Jim's!" "I know what you're trying to do. After what happened over there in part because of you, I dont want to go back there in this body!" "Pretty please get me some fruit!" "*conjures oranges with Artist's Eye* Here's some fruit!" Carlos slaps the oranges I created out of my hands: "I WANT FRESH FRUIT FROM JUNGLE JIM'S!" His sister, Madeline stared very intensely at him as an aura manifests around her. "Carlos.." Carlos comedically whimpers like a puppy and stops talking. Madeline pats his head: "Good ninja.." A lot of us sweatdrop at that reaction. But then, things got stranger as Karma from Assassination Classroom suddenly teleports in and shouts with a grin on his face: "Hey, anyone wanna assassinate Korosensei just for fun?!" Carlos, Yappa Yappa(who has now officially started staying here 24/7), and a few others excitedly express interest. But Karma just points and speaks to me: "What about you, *silly voice* oh brave knight?!" "No. Assassination is a serious act. I simply refuse to enjoy killing or even attempting to kill someone. Carlos, why are you excited?! I thought our resident newly ascended ex-villain to Demon Lord would be the only one who'd get excited for the record!" "That's too bad. After all, we plan on taking Korosensei to Jungle Jim's except we rigged the entire store to be full of anti-sensei things." "That's not going to sway me. Why are you even wanting to assassinate him for fun anyway?"

"Because his regeneration abilities are on a whole other level compared to where they were back to E Class! And besides, it's about time we got him back for the 'Assassination Waterpark' thing he tricked us all with! But only because it'd be funny to! Revenge has become a really boring concept to me after all!" "I see. Still not interested." And yet somehow, I would end up having no choice but to go because of you probably guessed it.. election discourse. I'm not sure how it happened. It's all a blur to me because of the sheer chaos and confusion that suddenly occurred due to election discourse of all things. I can't even tell you how it started or how it ended. So let's skip forward to something I actually don't just vaguely recall. And that would be going to the parking lot of Jungle Jim's after using magic to conceal my knightly identity under a disguise again. All of us put on N95 masks just in case and all that jazz before coming to the parking lot. Korosensei's disguise looks absurd. He just put makeup on his face with great realistic detail to pass as a normal human being with an oversized head. But before anyone moved, a familiar white pelican appears through a magic portal in a postal uniform, carrying mail. He greets myself, Carlos, and several others who used to live for a time in the town of Fun Land where we fought the Supreme Dark Lord for the first time almost 6 years ago: "It's been some time since I really last saw any of you! I can't stay long. I'm here to give everyone here letters that were mailed to Fun Land Post Office recently. I'm running late! Gotta deliver all of these letters! Why am I always running late?!" It's the one and only Pete. Korosensei chuckles: "I know of you, you're known as Pete, right? Pete, sometimes you can never be on time. Embrace what's happening.