Matcha kind of love || JJK

48. Limelight

I don't know how long I was outside or when Namjoon found me crying under a tree in the woods behind the houses. I was overwhelmed by the seriousness of my situation, by the sudden burden I had become to so many people.

I didn't want to believe that my name was on every headline all over the world. I didn't want to believe I had a stalker who hated my guts just because I was dating Jungkook. I didn't want to face it. I was in denial and I wanted to tuck myself into a small corner and forgot all of this was happening.

If Namjoon hadn't found me, I would have probably stayed there for the whole day. Apparently, they were all worried I had disappeared for so long and started to look for me. I felt bad I made them worry, but I needed to escape for a while.

l now sat on the couch, surrounded by mountains of blankets and freshly made food. Jungkook and Yoongi were beside me, playing Mario cart with Jimin and Taehyung. The maknaes had begged him to play and he surprisingly gave in really easily. None of them asked me any questions when I came back, which I was grateful for. I could barely process my own thoughts, let alone tell someone else how I was feeling.

They all seemed to be enjoying the days off, resting, and doing things they never had time for before. Watching them all relax, and enjoy themselves made me feel a lot better than before. Who would argue about a few days off? It seemed I was once again overthinking things and I quickly realized this might be helping them all in the long run. I noticed they all seemed more lively, the dark circles under their eyes slowly dissipating.

Jungkook still hadent said a word to me, and I was scared. I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling and I was anxious. What if that stalker was right? What if he really had no other choice but to get rid of me? I knew it would probably be for the best, but I was so attached and ... in love with him that the even mention of that thought hurt my heart.

My face was buried into my knees, my arms pulling my legs closer to my body. I hated how things were unfolding. Everything was going to shit and I didn't know if I was ready to deal with any of it. I heard a loud phone ring though the house, and hear Namjoons voice anwsering it. I assumed they paused their game, cause the only thing I could hear was Namjoons voice.

"Yes, they are home now. I know, yea. Another one? Well I guess that's something. Oh, Jungkook? Yeah i'll put him on," Namjoons voice was tense, as I assumed he gave the phone to Jungkook.

"Yes? Oh... Yea, I know. She's... fine. Yeah. I don't know. Yea, it was a call this time. I recorded it. Okay, i'll send it to you. Right now? Oh... Okay. Bye," Jungkook's voice was hard and unrecognizable. He sounded mad but calm at the same time. It was scaring me more. The room was dead silent, and I kept my head in my knees. I didn't want to talk or look at anyone.

"The police wanted the recording of the video I took of the stalker calling her. We also think we figured out who is stalking her so we should be able to dissolve this quickly. Sejin told me there had been a new article written, but it was the first positive one. Apparently they caught her in this neighborhood talking to a kid and being nice or something, and said she was a good person..." He trailed off, his voice distant. He sounded like he didn't care, and that made me feel like my heart was being ripped out my chest.

"Anyway, they told us to just stay home for the time being while they made an office statement denying our relationship. I don't see what good that's gonna do, the damage is already done..." He mumbled to himself and I could hear the emotions in his voice. The annoyance. The hate. The disappointment. I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart breaking into a million pieces.

He was disappointed in me. Of course he was. Why did I ever think he would still like me after I literally threatened his entire career by simply existing? I felt the tears sting my eyes but I held them in. I didn't want the boys to see me cry, hell I didn't want any of them to see me cry.

Silence filled the room once again, the tension and stress from everyone leaking into the room. It was all my fault. I was ruining everything. Maybe I should listen to that number and leave... I desperately wanted to leave the room, but if i got up now they would question my teary eyes and heart broken expression. So I stayed put, suffocating in the silence.

What I didn't know, was that all of them were looking at my curled up form. They felt bad because even though they were used to these kind of scandals, they knew it was my first time experiencing anything like this. And they could all hear the way Jungkook spoke. No one moved, no one said anything. It was like the moment someone moved all hell would break loose.

I couldn't take it anymore and I stood up, moving to my temporary room without looking at anyone. I heard Jungkook mumble something along the lines of "of course she's running away" and I felt my blood run cold. I quietly closed the door behind me, the tears spilling from my eyes none stop. I couldn't handle this. It was too much.

My boyfriend hated me, the world hated me, who else was left? My mother hated me before I was even born, and my only friend probably thought I was insane now. I felt alone, so so alone. The sobs wouldn't stop, and I shoved my face into a pillow to prevent them from being so god damn loud. I was weak, letting the situation get the better of me. I was drowning in emotions and it was suffocating.

I hated this. I hated what my life had become. If I could go back in time and stop myself from giving that handsome stranger my number, I probably would. But... the moments I shared with Jungkook were something I would cherish forever, even if we couldn't make more. I knew he was over me. He would pick his career over me, and I knew that. I didn't blame him. He had been chasing this dream ever since his childhood, and as soon as they start flourishing, here I waltz in and ruin everything.

Even though my heart was split in two, I knew this was for the better. I needed to move on, so I could disappear like nothing happened.