Don't Look Back { 18+ }

༒𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐸𝐸𝑁༒

Tina:

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I can't fucking believe it. I've been played. "Would you like some tea or water ma'am?" The flight attendant asks me.

"No thank you I'm alright." I dismiss her and she walks away.

...2 hours earlier...

I need to keep running, I have to keep running but my stomach is starting to hurt. I see a car pull up beside me. The window is down and I see...wait who is this guy, I've seen him before. 

I dig through my memories. Vanilla and cinnamon. Ice cream. It's that ice cream man from New York, Juan.

"Uhh miss Sophia? I was sent to take you to a hotel and to make sure you're safe." How did he end up working for a crazy man. They probably sent him to take me back to their compound so they can lock me up in a basement. Dickheads.

"I don't want to go to a hotel I'd like to go to an airport." Please say yes, please say yes.

"But I was instructed by Mr Gonzalez to take you to a hotel."

"Please Juan, don't you remember me? I'm the one you gave free ice cream to seven years ago. Just help me out by taking me to the airport. Please."

He looked a bit sad when I reminded him about the ice cream he gave me. He sighs. "Fine but I might get in trouble for this."  I smile and sit in the backseat of the car.

Once I close the door he starts to drive. "So you're not interested in ice cream anymore?"

"I still am I've always been interested in ice cream."

"So then what are you doing here working as a driver?"

He stays silent for a bit focusing on the road. "My son got of prison three years ago and he moved to Texas with his friend. After staying with his friend for about a year he got kicked out and had nowhere to go, he was practically homeless. So I used all the money that I saved up for my ice cream shop and moved to Texas to take care of my son. Now I'm working as a driver for the Gonzalez brothers to make money for my shop."

"They pay me well so I'm just saving up to buy my shop but taking care of my son is so expensive." I feel sad as I hear his story. "Why can't your son get a job?"

"It's because of his criminal record and because he's such a lazy boy." He chuckles but it's not a genuine chuckle.

"I'm a fifty four year old man and the last thing I want to do before I leave this earth is open that ice cream shop. It has always been my dream."

I have to help this man. I can't let him stay stuck as Antonio's driver. It takes twenty more minutes before we arrive at the airport. "I'll see you again Juan, I promise I won't let you down." I grab my duffel bag. "Ms Sophia what do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it, also call me Tina not Sophia." I exit the car and wave goodbye.

...Present...

At least that lifted my mood just a bit, poor Juan.

I should have never...I should have never come to Texas with him, I should have never fucked him that night. This is just one big butterfly effect.

My vision blurs a bit as tears start to form in my eyes, all these flashbacks and memories are starting to hurt me terribly.

Why do I always find myself in these situations? Am I just carrying an immense amount of bad luck? God please tell me why.

━━━━━━━༺༻━━━━━━━

"Aww I'm so sorry. I didn't think this would happen." My therapist hands me a tissue and I use it to blow my nose. "Tell me exactly how you felt in that moment."

"I felt like I was twenty-two years old again, I felt like that same helpless twenty-two year old all over again and I hated it. I hated it so much."

"You said that he was apologising and he sounded like he was crying."

"I don't care if he was crying, shitting and throwing up. What makes you think that I'll hear all that and forgive him in an instance?" I snap at her without realising. "I'm sorry it's just so overwhelming."

"It's okay to feel angry Tina, don't forget that your emotions is what makes you human." She removes her glasses and puts her notepad down. "I think that you should just focus on yourself and I mean it."

"Forget guys and relationships and love just for now, and do what you love. Have a relationship with yourself and learn to love yourself again. I know that your right hand is what makes you insecure but don't let that hold you back."

I huff. "The last time you said I shouldn't let anything hold me back I bumped into my worst nightmare."

"I know that but this time it has a different meaning." She chuckles and hands me a cupcake. Have I ever mentioned that I love my therapist?

"He looked so different." I say grabbing her attention. "He had curly hair that kissed his shoulders, he had these dark circles around his eyes, he was still fit like he was seven years ago. Even though he looked a bit lifeless he was still gorgeous, and his natural scent was still present."

"I think the reason why this hurts so much is because I actually loved Antonio, sure I said I love you to Jason as well, but I didn't really mean that, I was only eighteen at the time. I see Antonio as my first love."

"Hmm... you've never told me this before."

"Tina, do you ever plan on talking to him again?" She startles me a bit with her question. "I-I don't know...I want to say no to you right now but I would be lying to myself."

She stays quiet for a minute. "Like I said Tina, focus on yourself and when the time is right you can see him again. Only when the time is right."

She's right it's going to take time but when I'm ready I'll speak to Antonio.

A/N:

End of chapter my loves. What do you think of the therapist? Do you think she's giving good advice? Let me know.

Don't forget to vote and comment. <3