Supernatural Imagines: Book Two

Broken Down

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Female!Reader (siblings)

Warnings: reader having a stillborn, feeling the loss of a child, heartbroken angst, substituting Odette to the reader's stillborn child, losing a fiancé because of it

Summary: Before losing your daughter, you were married and was happy. After, your fiancé left you. When Jared asks you to babysit, you discover you have unresolved feelings that come bursting out.

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How can you face your brother after what you went through? How can you look him in the eyes and not break down at the fact that you didn't call him when you needed him? How can you come to terms with the loss of your baby after being with his daughter all day? The image of your daughter lying dead in your arms and the feeling of pushing out a dead baby weighs heavily on your shoulders.

This isn't how this was supposed to go. You were supposed to have a healthy baby girl with the love of your life. You were supposed to watch her grow up and have her make mistakes. She was supposed to go to school and make friends and get married and have kids of her own.

She was supposed to be here.

Instead, you're left childless and fianceless. Instead, you're sitting on a plane to see your big brother and his family with a big hole in your heart. You didn't call Jared, and for that, you know he will yell at you for. As much as you wanted him with you, you couldn't pick up the phone. You couldn't say the words out loud.

My baby died. My baby was a stillborn.

Even the thought hurts tremendously. Jared just has Odette, and you're staying with him and his wife for two weeks to help out with the kids. Having this distraction could be the best thing for you or the worst thing.

On one hand, you'll have to deal with the kids enough to keep your mind off your own issues. On the other hand, you're going to stare into Odette's big beautiful eyes and break down crying wishing your own was here instead. It doesn't help that you don't have Nick with you anymore. He left as soon as he left the delivery room, and he hasn't been back since. When you were discharged, you came home to an empty apartment. All of his things had been removed, and he didn't leave anything behind.

Anything but you. He left you behind, but you don't need someone like him. You need someone who will stay even through the worst things. How you'll explain why he isn't here, you're not sure. Jared and Gen will surely ask about him, and you'll have to fake a smile and lie to their faces.

How can you ever explain to them that you got pregnant and then killed their niece? The doctors aren't sure why the placenta broke, but that's what killed your daughter. You did everything right, but that still didn't seem enough. Sometimes, you can do everything by the book and get everything right, and somehow, she still dies.

Maybe you weren't meant to be a mother, and this was the universe's way of telling you that.

Jared and Gen met you at the gates after the plane landed, and you plastered on the fakest smile you can possibly muster. The boys are in school right now, but Gen has baby Odette with her. She is sleeping in her carriage, and you make every effort to be happy to see her.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Hold it in and push it down. You're fine. Don't cry.

"She's beautiful," you smile.

She kind of looks like your daughter.

"I know you're probably tired from the flight, but you have to tell me everything. How is Nick doing?" Jared asks and takes your bags from you.