What happens when a tired, middle aged Chaos God decides he doesn't want to do his job anymore? He lets someone else do it for him.
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[This is a lore-based story/au loosely inspired by both Golden Apple and the OG Dave and Bambi mod, made and writte...
"-- BANDU. " " THAT GUY IS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS THAT I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS. " " HE'S SO RUDE. " " HE DIDN'T EVEN LIKE MY MONOLOGUE! " " THE NERVE . "
"II literally do not care." Interrupted Bandu, who was leaned up against the arm of the couch while simultaneously staring at (one of his many) phone(s). He could not bear to listen to his sibling's whining for the, what, fifth time? Why couldn't he take a hint??
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" ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING??? " Even when Bandu had just STATED he didn't even care. Expunged got right in his face, now staring at him with pathetic malice.
" IF I DO NOT KILL HIM SOON. I AM SURE THAT HE WILL BE THE CAUSE OF THE REALM'S DOWNFALL! " " WHAT IF HE STILL HAS THAT PORTAL OPENER...THING??? " This finally prompted Bandu to put his phone down, but only for a second.
"Dude. Holy shit. Have you SEEN him?" "He acts like a complete wet blanket; I bet he wants nothing to do with the realm"
" YOUUUU DON'T KNOW THAT. " He leaned back from Bandu, placing his hands on his hips.
" 2D MORTALS CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE STILL ALIVE AFTER HAVING THEIR LEGS TORN OFF! " Expunged's logic was...hard to follow. Bandu just pinched his temples with a defeated sigh
"Okay, you know what-" Bandu pushed himself off the couch and drew a half-assed portal.
"I'm gonna go do my own thing. You go rant to uh....I dunno, the Bambi Minions? They're not gonna understand what you're talking about anyways" "(and maybe I can try and reason with Bambi if I find him again...)"
Bandu's comment made him blink, but also made him stand up from his seat on the ottoman of the couch. " FINE. MAYBE I WILL. " " I CAN STILL SMELL AND YOUR PATHETIC ASS BOYFRIEND'S MUSK IN HERE. GET A CANDLE OR SOMETHING, SNOTFACE. "
Bandu leaned out from the portal with a pissy look on his face "WHAT IF I LIKE MY BOYFRIEND'S MUSK HUH"
" WELL I DON'T. CLEAN YOUR FUCKING SMELLY ASS APARTMENT FOR ONCE. " And that's when Expunged FINALLY walked towards the door, standing in front of it—and with that, they both parted ways.
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Dave situated Tristan's backpack, tightening it gently as the kid waited patiently, he looked Off. He didn't FEEL comfortable after..what he saw last night.
" Dad? " Dave looked up, raising an eyebrow.
" Do you remember last night? With the big green monster thingie- and that creepy red furry thing? "
"Huh? Never heard of a..'big green monster thingie'. Must've been a dream or something, Trist" A part of Dave felt bad for having to lie to his son's face, but he'd rather not traumatize his son—it was for the best.
" Yeaaa..I guess. " Tristan kicked his feet as his father finished up helping his son, Tristan backed up and looked up at him.
"Now, Hurry! I put your lunch in your backpack, and some of those fidget toys, just in case." "Be safe." And with that, he gave a small kiss to Tristan's forehead, wheeling back to make way for Tristan running towards the door.
