Lock you up in my Arms

3. Aren't We?

Shen wei's p.of.view:

Once upon a time, i fell in love with a fluctuating mindless dumb Human. He had the voice of an angel but each word coming from his honey throat pierced me to the core. He had no control over his train of speech. At the starting days of our long distance communication, all i thought is he is too straight-forward and rude. but soon i saw that he is just immature and childesh. He hadn't seen the outside environment yet.

    he lived inside a cocoon of his own. he spoke too much of too many tiny things.

I wanted him to know that i was just a passing cloud. Before even i could clearly cut ties i fell for him. he did reject my every subtle efforts. he is all clueless about rejecting me upto this very second. He has zero knowledge about breaking my heart, all he thinks is his own feelings that are built out of nowhere.  Should i need to remind him that i had loved him first and he rejected in a dilemma of his meaningless dumb talkings and chatters.

  Even after all this, i stayed back as friend. I know he would collapse if i leave. The bond we had built escalated quickly than i could've liked to imagine. he trusted me blindly and opened his heart. In no time I became his emotional support. I Couldn't withdraw.  he hardly saw any life outside his broken abusive family. I needed him to fly, i needed him to meet many people and explore it in freedom. I didn't want him to get stuck with an old fashion person like me.

Wishing him success in silence is all i could think of.

Before i could bid him a proper goodbye while still supplying him the comfort he needed, he decided to open himself to me more. He spoke of things i never even dreamt of hearing from him. I saw Yunlan like a rose trying to bloom in dead bushes. He looked different now, he looked divine to me.

Soon, He liked me. I felt pity. Pity on myself for enduring his feelings like an heartless man. I know it would pass, his feelings would fade cause, they came when he had no person to speak to other than me. Once he finds someone new, more lovelier and  livelier than me, he will even regret talking to me.

The old pure love i have for him slaps me right on the face everytime he confesses his feelings to me, exactly like how he slapped me earlier.

I know he loves me but Am i enough to recieve it?

Am i worthy to recieve the love of the person that struggled all their life?

He went through so much of hardships to build a castle to his people, Do i deserve to ask him to leave it all behind for me?

Do i deserve him?

Deserve his unconditional love?

I did nothing but hear him chatter, hear him cry, hear him laugh, hear him breakdown, hear him hate, i just heard him and nothing more.

I didn't feel with him, i didn't endure the humiliation, i didn't held him when he fell down. I did nothing

I am an invisible passing cloud forced by the destiny to float around him.

*********

"Are you feeling cold?". I asked trying to easy the tension between us. My minding is going blank everytime he is shutting himself up and looks into void. His beauty that i admired only in pictures is now spread infront of my eyes. Begging me to cherish and love. It is taking every ounce of strength in my body to control the growing heat looking at him.

He is one of the most precious being, my love that gave me the most memorable days. This two days has been the best day of my life, even the silence between us kept me full.

He completes me.

Also,Why is he so fucking beautiful?

"Oh why? Would you warm me up if i say yes!". He mocked batting his eyes while wrapping his hands over his chest. Oh dear, his tactics, can i just eat him now? Devour him into a feast.