Behind His Cold Behavior ✅

Chapter 4

WARNING: SENSITIVE TOPIC BELOW, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

BIBLE grew up from the small but happy family. It's just him, his father, mother and his baby brother Ta. They are doing good in life they're not struggling with money and food because his father is a CEO of his own company. Even their clans from both sides of his parents are well off in life, the Phakphum clan of his mother is known for their business in hotels, real estate, restaurants and many more, while his father's clan the Wichapas is known for their business in cruise ships, transportations, and etc.

They grew up doing what they want, buy what they want and go to the place they want.

He was five years old when his parents brought a cute baby in their house, they said it is a son of their friend that asked for their help to raise the baby because she is struggling in life. He thought he would become the least favorite since he had a brother now but nothing change instead he begun to love and care for his little brother.

Everything was perfect for him he thought they are happy and they will stay forever as a family. But when he is in high school his Dad began to came home late and started to forget some important events like family day, family bounding, valentine's, birthday's, and even the wedding anniversary. Since then , their house became cold and dull. No more laughs and talking that you can hear because his Dad is now rarely coming home. He always stays at his office. Maybe?

Of course at the young age he wouldn't understand what's happening, but when he became more mature and entered college he started to understand every argument, every shouts, every slams that he heard from his parents room.

He always wants to interrupt them and tell them to stop but he can't.

His brother was just 15 years old, just like him before he can't sense that there is wrong in their family.

Those scenarios kept on repeating almost everyday, he just being quiet and listening every sound his ears can reached and silently crying. When he reached 3rd year college his trauma started when his father packed all his clothes and left without a single goodbye to him and his brother. He just stared to his mother in the terrace of their room that is looking at his husband's back. Walking away from the responsibility and from the marriage.

He can't understand his mother, why she didn't stop him? And why did his father left?

He wanted to ask but no one was there to answer him. He and Ta continued to attend school even after what happened and their father left them, he knows that his brother is now aware of what's going on to their family, but he keep silent.

His mother become distant and lose care for them, she also became weak and ill. At first it was easy because there is manang Abet to care for his mother while he's in school, but a day come that he notice some marks and fresh wounds from his mother's wrist, so he asked manang about it and she said that her mother is in suicidal state.

She kept on cutting her pulse nor slash her flesh with a sharp thing she can find around the room, and she's asking for a knife to manang but everytime manang refused to gave her she started to lose in anger.

From then on he became more hands on to his mother, and often absent from the class just to take care of his mother. He's grades is at risk of failing but he manage to save it for asking second chances. When he's already at 4th year college he and Ta struggled more, because their mother become more and more weak, but she doesn't want any doctor to see her nor bring her to the hospital.

And it's hurting him more because when he is with his mother it kept on asking knife from him and mumbling words like "I wanna die Bible" "I'm so tired" "I'm sorry" she would cry in his arms and persuading him to give her knife that sometimes HE DID!

PAIN is the only thing that can bring her mother into a sleep so he gave her a knife and watching her mother cutting her own flesh and blood as it come out from her fresh wound. It was horrible to witnessed and it brought him a trauma.

His life is like a repetition. School, Home, School, Home. But he chose it just to keep his eyes on his mother.

One day after class he go home early like the usual but when he stepped out from his car, he wondered why people are gathering outside their house and the police car was park few meter away from his car.

He quickly went inside the house and by passing those people gossiping about something his heart beats faster and faster. And there he knew that his mother took her own life.

The sight of his mother in the bathtub holding a knife in her right hand, looks like sleeping beauty in the bloody water.

He can't forget and erase that image of his mother every night his nightmare about his mother, her blood, her cries and her pity face that always showed up in his dreams. After his mother's funeral he had to be strong for himself and especially his brother that is very affected to the sudden death of their mother. About his father they didn't see him even only his shadow didn't appeared. He's mad and loathe his father now. He can't let him back to their life again.

He still went to school while studying the business that her mother left them, in the help of Mile and his uncle Korn he manage to learn about doing business.

In times when he had a lot of courage to be a good brother and be a good man. Life started to take away his only reason to stand and continue his life. Months past after their mother's death, the parents of Ta appeared and they want to take Ta away from him to bring him back in America, they said since his mother died and he is not capable of taking care of Ta because he was diagnosed with depression and that's the reason why he had to give them Ta because he's not healthy for his brother anymore.

When his little brother left all the pieces of his world shattered and collapsed, he became immobile. He dropped out from school and forget anything, closed his door to the world and locked himself in the four corner of his room.

He doesn't want anything in life but for it to end.

🌱L.N.B