Colliding Stars (Minsung)

Chapter 19: Lingering Sweetness

(Credits to the rightful owner.)

Wordcount: 3.6k

Jisung P.O.V

The soft shutting sound of the door echoed in the empty apartment, as I finally let out my wretched cries.

He left.

Well, I told him to leave...but maybe a part of me hoped he'd stay.

I hated that part.

But I...I can't let hatred cloud my judgement. I myself grew up with the lack of parent's love. With the absence of my dead mother and the presence of my abusive father, I craved a warmth I never got from either of them.

And though I have given my all to provide Ryujin with that warmth, she deserves her share of it from her appa as well. Especially now that I know her appa is willing to give her that.

My little daughter is truely an angel with the purest heart. I have noticed her look longingly at kids in the park with both parents present with them. I have seen her drawings of three stick figures in front of a cosy little house with the words "my family" written on it, that she keeps hidden under the mattress of her bed. I have known for a long time that she had to mature way before her years to save her eomma from pain. The pain of having to hear questions I couldn't answer. Questions about her appa.

But now, when her appa is right here, close to her, how can I act selfishly and keep her away from him.

I do fear, that if she spends time with him and then wants to leave me to stay with her father, how will I even survive then? I have learnt to live without him. But how do I learn to live without my own child?

However, I also know that it is all her decision to make. I have had first hand experience to be left with no choice for most of my childhood. I can't make my daughter go through that.

She will have the choice.

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Minho P.O.V

I am not quite sure when the cold night air turned into the cool breeze of dawn with soft morning rays of the rising sun seeping in through the window of my room, as I kept staring at the ceiling. The sound of the alarm made me jerk up a bit before I turned to my side on the bed only to notice a spot of the pillow under my head slightly damp. The silent tears that had trickled down the corner of my eyes and had fallen on the pillow had left my own face stained. I didn't bother wiping them off. A sigh reached my ears. The sigh I realised had escaped my own strained throat as my chest heaved aching when I took in a sharp breath. I closed my eyes as image of my daughter's face surfaced in my memories. A face full of wonders and innocence.

After a few hours I returned from his apartment to the rented bungalow, the others finally came back from the beach with the kids. None of them asked me any question about what happened with Hannie. Perhaps they could already tell the answer by reading my expression.

Ryujin had to return to her eomma. And as she bid me goodbye her little face was filled with gloominess. I wanted to ask her to stay. But how could I do say? What right did I have?

Yongbok had driven Ryujin back to her eomma's place. I had told my brother beforehand to not speak to Hannie about me. I couldn't bear the thought of him having to cry because of the mention of my name anymore. My presence had caused him enough hurt already.

By the time my brother returned, I had already locked myself up in this room, lying on a cold bed, staring into nothingness. But I didn't dare look at the starry sky through the window. I didn't deserve to witness such beauty, just like I don't deserve to appreciate his.