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When Saylor arrived at the Chateau all of the Pogues were gathered having a conversation in the Routledge storage shed but she didn't even notice as she walked right past them with clenched fists and a look of determination on her face.
The door slammed behind her as she made her way into her room and pulled out a duffel bag from underneath her bed. She quickly grabbed some clothes from her wardrobe and draws dumping them in the bag not allowing herself time to slow down, if she did she would talk herself out of what needed to be done.
Her fingers skimmed against the cover of the scrapbook she had made and she found herself getting emotional as she wracked her brain to decide if she would take it or not.
The decision was made, she wouldn't take the book but she would take a few pages. She tore out the pages dedicated to Barry, Tyler, Wheezie, Topper and her brother and placed them gently on top of her clothes before zipping the bag shut.
She stepped out of her room and allowed herself a final glance at her childhood home, somewhere that used to bring her joy and safety but was now nothing more than 4 walls and dirty furniture.
When she stepped onto the porch steps with the duffel bag slung over her shoulder that's when she noticed the 5 Pogues in the garden.
Saylor wasn't expecting to see them but now that she had it only heightened both her anger and the feeling of loss. Pope was stood behind Cleo, JJ was beside Kie and Sarah was slightly in front of them.
They didn't need Saylor, they were complete without her. Pope had Cleo, Sarah had John B and no matter how much it hurt her to say it JJ had Kie. There was no place for the Routledge girl, not anymore and she was starting to wonder if there ever was.
"What are you doing?" Sarah asked the brunette girl wearily as her eyes focused on the bag hanging on her shoulder.
"I'm done." Saylor took a big breath repeating the words her twin had spoken earlier, pulling the bag up her arm as it began to slip when she walked down the steps.
"Done? What does that mean?" It was Pope that spoke as he stepped forward from behind Cleo. His voice filled with confusion.
"It means I'm leaving." Saylor revealed her eyes glossing over, she loved them so much, but she had to do this for herself. She had to love herself enough to leave and she needed them to love her enough to let her. "I don't belong here anymore. There's nothing left for me." Her eyes briefly landed on the Maybank boy but she forced herself to look away.
"That's not true." Pope argued shaking his head at her moving closer to her and reaching out his hand to try and grab hers but she moved out of his reach.
"Isn't it?" Saylor scoffed. "Look I can't live like this anymore. We're pogues! We have nothing but that's okay because we have each other. But we don't have that anymore, this treasure hunting bullshit has taken that away from us! So I'm done, I deserve to start living for myself and I deserve to be loved the way I love!" Her chest was heaving and her hands were trembling but she was filled with pride. She had stuck up for herself, she had finally realised her own worth.
Everything went silent and still for a moment everyone processing what had been said and the weight of her words. Sarah was the first to move as she pulled Saylor into a hug wrapping her arms around her neck. "I'm gonna miss you." Her voice broke, she was devastated that Saylor was leaving and heartbroken that she felt unloved in their friend group but she supported her decision full heartedly even if it meant she was losing one of her closest friends.
"I'm gonna miss you too Sar." Saylor sniffled as she pulled away from the hug. Sarah stepped back into line and Saylor waited for a moment to see if anyone else would say anything or do anything, but they didn't.
The Routledge girl nodded her head with her bottom lip between her teeth and a tear rolling down her cheek. She hadn't expected anything from Cleo as they weren't close but she would be lying if she said the silence from her three life long friends didn't sting.
Kiara was Saylors first ever female friend. Before they had met her life was filled with testosterone and rough housing, but Kie showed her the beauty of female friendships. The beauty and simplicity of knowing someone struggled the same as you, that someone understood.
Pope, Saylors twin flame. Her person. Someone that she had always confided in and felt safe with. Someone that she could tell her deepest secrets to and never feel judged.
JJ. The boy who had stolen her heart and claimed it as his own the very moment they had met. Someone that showed her what it felt like to be loved.
They stood in silence and watched as she walked away.
With every step she took she gained composure, she had finally set herself free of the shackles she had placed on herself. No longer would she force herself to stay somewhere she felt unloved. No longer would she let her life be controlled by another's desires and expectations.
She didn't have a set plan all she knew was she was going to get the fuck of that shitty island, but not before making a pit stop.
Saylor hadn't seen Topper since the bonfire and she hadn't spoken to him since their phone call where she warned him to stay away from Rafe.
As desperate as she was to leave the Outer Banks she was even more desperate to talk to the Thornton boy, to make sure that he was okay, to apologise for her disappearance ... and to watch the episodes of Euphoria she had missed.
She had just crossed over the bridge connecting the cut and figure eight when a black car slowed beside her and the window rolled down. Saylor turned her head and was met by a pair of brown eyes she had unfortunately become familiar with. "Shit"
.·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·.
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