Bloom for me

Chapter 26

Alette 

Today should have been blissful; perfect; amazing; the best way to spend the day, but it just isn't.

I've spent my Saturday wrapped up with my boyfriend, cozying around the house, eating food and relaxing whilst practically being waited on hand and foot.

I spoke to my boyfriends mother yesterday which went very well and slept in a very comfortable bed, woken with a cup of tea and an array of pastries.

Sounds amazing right?

Yeah it would've been if the whole time my brain wasn't thinking about how Silas doesn't find me physically attractive because he still doesn't want to have sex with me. Which then turns into me scolding myself for thinking about sex so much because a relationship is more than that.

And now Silas is beginning to pick up on it too.

He is being cautious and overly sweet, clearly trying to figure out what's wrong but I keep brushing it off.

"You okay sweet girl?" His rough voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

Just like that. 'Sweet girl', 'my love', 'darling', 'baby', 'my baby', even 'my heart', have all been used as a way to address me today but my mood won't shift.

I'm just confused and conflicted and rejected and kind of hurt.

"Yeah I'm good, just tired" I answer him and lean into his palm that's currently resting on my cheek.

"Why don't you go and take a nap?" Silas suggests as his eyebrows knit together in concern which makes my gut twist with guilt because I'm starting to make him worry.

He has taken the weekend off to spend time with me and here I am pouting like a stroppy brat all because my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me.

"Yeah I might go and lay down for a bit actually"

"Okay darling, I'm going to do some work in the office whilst you nap, come find me when you wake up" Silas leans down to lay a kiss on the crown of my head before stepping back and watching as I retreat upstairs.

Once I reach the bedroom I practically throw myself backwards on the bed whilst I scroll through my phone trying to distract myself when my phone starts ringing and Georgia's name pops up on my phone.

I sigh a breath of relief and answer the phone.

"Hello" I answer the phone and can hear the sulky tone that I can't seem to shift.

"He- woahhh, what's up with you doom and gloom? I thought you'd be all happy and giggly like you normally are when you're with Silas"

"I'm fine and I am happy, I'm just being a spoilt brat"

"Now that sounds nothing like you at all. What's up Al? Have you gotten into an argument or something?" Georgia says beginning to sound concerned.

"No nothing like that, we are fine. Enough about me how was your night? Are you home now or still out?"

"Nope we aren't moving on from this until you explain what's going on" Georgia begins to sound like a scolding mother which oddly comforts me.

"It's stupid" I begin to say as I get up and hurry to close the bedroom door softly before making my way towards the bathroom just incase Silas overhears.

"Your feelings aren't stupid" Georgia says seriously.

"They are when I'm acting like a horny teenager" I blurt out somewhat embarrassed.

"Ah I see what this is about. You two still haven't had sex yet have you?" Georgia sighs.

"No we haven't and I don't get why George, I even tried to put my hand down his boxers yesterday and he walked off. What's wrong with me Georgia? What am I not getting?" I throw my free hand up in the hair in frustration as I start to pace back and forth.