The Grey - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes X OC Love Story

Chapter 16

** A/N **
Be mindful of the same TW from the last chapter and it goes into more detail.

**

By the time the two were ready to go home, Victoria was exhausted. Her entire face was red, puffy and splotchy. The bags under her eyes more prominent, her head splitting from a long day. Steve's eyes were glossed over with tears of his own, a different kind of exhausted. With the serum, he didn't get tired like the average person. This was different though, this was a mental exhaustion to his very core. One he knew only Victoria understood, that's why every year the two did this on Sarah's birthday.

They always intened just to be at the cemetery for a few minutes, maybe an hour or two if they needed it. But it always turned into an all day event. He would pick Victoria up so she wouldn't have to drive, he'd always insist she stay the night at the tower with him. Not only did he not think she wanted Noah to see her upset, he knew she didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to be alone either. Plus the next day was the day of Sarah's death, they normally spent that entire day together too.

They weren't supposed to ever be alone again, they were supposed to have a short, spitfire dark haired girl girl to chase around. She would've mimicked Victoria's perfect Cuban features. He would've caved into any request she made with one look of her stunning green eyes, matching her mom's.

At least, that's the picture he had in his head of their daughter. But the look of their daughter was burned into his mind, like a brand. The look of her tiny body was quite literally seared into his brain. She was so small, the size of his hand. He held her against his chest with one hand, his thumb stroked her delicate cheek for hours while Victoria slept. He remembered how hard Victoria fought off sleep that day. When the doctor told them that she had no chance of survival, her heart and brain weren't fully developed, just to be with her for however long they had. Victoria fought to stay away, to keep Sarah in her arms as long as she could. She was terrified that as soon as she closed her eyes, Sarah would be gone. Steve eventually got her to sleep, small naps that came in twenty minute segments, jolting herself awake to make sure Sarah was still there.

"It's okay, rest. I'll wake you up if anything changes." He had promised her at least a dozen times that day. But it didn't change anything, she forced herself awake off and on the entire night. Everytime she woke up, Steve would put their little girl against Victoria's chest, letting her breathe in their baby's scent, feel her gentle warmth on her bare chest.

"I'm not ready for her to go, Steve.." Victoria had said in such a low whisper that anyone else would've missed it. Those words were burned into his mind, the look in her eyes as Steve held their lifeless daughter in his hand against Victoria's chest. She was so tired she couldn't even hold her, the drugs they had her on had her so tired. Sara had passed away holding onto Victoria's finger. She had passed away in Steve's hand as Steve laid his head on top of Victoria's while they laid together in her hospital bed, his other arm wrapped around Victoria's waist as she curled up against his chest.

The entirety of that day played in a loop in his brain. From simply visiting Victoria in the lab, she told him she felt like she was cramping and he rushed her to the hospital. Only to find out her cramping was labor, that it was too late to stop it. To getting to hold Victoria's hand while she gave birth to their daughter, weighing only 18 ounces and measuring 7.5 inches. Even though she was small, she was so perfect. 10 little fingers, 10 toes, slight dark fuzz on the top of her head, her smooth skin was a faded shade of pink. He reminded Victoria that day at least a hundred times how good she did, he saw it on her face that she blamed herself. But even the doctor told them that they'd done nothing wrong, these things happen.

Steve sat in the truck with Victoria in his marked space, she was curled up against him asleep. He rested his head against hers, crying into her hair, today having been too much for both of them.

Bucky heard Steve's truck pull in. He waited to hear Steve walk past his apartment on the way to his own, intending to check on him. But he never heard him, after about half an hour he made his way to the garage to check on him. His heart broke at the sight of them both. Victoria, even sleeping, looked shattered. Pink splotches littered across her tanned face and neck from tears, her cheeks still wet, the bags under her eyes deep and puffy, her nose raw from wiping it. Steve's eyes were glossed over, cheeks stained wet but no tears currently, hair a mess, bags under his eyes. Even with the serum, he somehow looked fragile in this moment.

"Have either of you eaten today?" Bucky asked. Steve sighed but shook his head no, his gaze shifting down to Victoria as she rested against his chest.

"What's her favorite? I'll go get it.." Bucky offered. Steve lifted Victoria into his lap, clutching onto her, his forehead resting against hers. He was heartbroken for Victoria in this moment. She had only fallen asleep because she cried out every ounce of energy her body had. She cried until she was so physically exhausted that she couldn't even see, couldn't form a thought.

"Sushi is her favorite but she'll want comfort food when she wakes up." Steve answered. He climbed out of the truck, keeping Victoria in his arms, against his chest.

"I'll order it. But I can have it delivered." Steve offered. He carried Victoria inside, Bucky beside him the whole way. "It's faster if I go get it." Bucky said with a shrug. He wasn't really sure what to say, he didn't normally talk about his feelings. He hadn't seen Steve this upset since his mom died, even then, they didn't really talk about it their feelings, so he just put his hand on Steve's shoulder and promised he was there for him.

The two made their way to Steve's apartment, Steve laid Victoria down on his bed and covered her up. He stared down at her for a moment, grateful that she was resting before making his way out of his bedroom and sitting on the couch. He pulled his phone out, ordering a plethora of ribs, Mac and cheese, baked beans, Cole slaw, collard greens and cornbread for Victoria, her preferred comfort food.

"I'll be back, text me if you need anything else." Bucky offered, leaving Steve's apartment and heading towards the garage, bumping into Nat on the way there.

"How did you know without them knowing you know?" Bucky asked. Nat sighed. "I knew they were together, I just acted like I didn't. When they suddenly went from sparring everyday to Steve coddling her, I knew something was up. I stayed hidden the day Steve sprinted her out of here like she'd been stabbed. I followed them to the hospital, I watched from the hallway while they held her." Nat started, she sighed again and leaned against the wall. "I wanted to barge in there and hug them both, but they obviously didn't want me to know. I go there sometimes and clean up the headstone, leave flowers, pay my respects." She said with a shrug.

Steve climbed in bed with Victoria, pulling her against his chest and laying his head against hers. He laid with her, losing the battle not to cry, silently crying into her hair. He didn't want to wake her, he needed her to sleep. But he felt her stir against him and quickly wiped his eyes. Victoria, however, knew. She climbed up onto his chest, straddling him, burying her face in his neck. She wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, one of her hands holding onto his hair at the nape of his neck. Steve tightened his arms around her, leaning his head against hers. Neither one of them said anything, they just held onto each other as they both sobbed.

"Go to sleep, It's okay, I'm here." Victoria cooed after what felt like a lifetime of silently consoling each other. She gently scratched at his hair, comforting him. She kept it up until she finally felt him drift to sleep. She laid her head down on his shoulder for a while, closing her eyes to calm her throbbing head. She heard Bucky quietly come in and climbed off of Steve's chest.

Bucky let himself back into Steve's apartment with a large takeout bag. He heard neither one was awake and started putting the food in the fridge for them, Victoria sneaking out of the bedroom making him whip his head around. "Hungry?" He asked nervously. He didn't really know what to say.

Victoria shook her head no, wrapping her arms around herself. Without another thought, Bucky came across the counter to Victoria and wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her up to his height, feeling her wrap her arms tightly around his neck and pull her feet up, resting them on his hips. "I'm so sorry.." Bucky said quietly but hesitantly. He could feel her lightly shake, he could hear her sniffle as she started to cry. He moved to sit on the couch, keeping her in his lap, he pulled one of Steve's throw blankets around her and leaned back on the couch. His hands rubbed up and down her spine until he felt her fall asleep, carrying her into Steve's room and laying her down with Steve. He let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as the two subconsciously curled up to each other.