The Grey - Steve Rogers + Bucky Barnes X OC Love Story

Chapter 34

Victoria was in her apartment reading. Today, being Saturday, she didn't have much to do. So she settled in on her couch and read an ebook on her phone, music playing at the lowest volume as she read. A soft knock at her door peeling her attention away from her book. She quickly stood up and opened her door, seeing Tony on the other side.

"Hey, Tony. What's up?" Victoria asked when she saw him. She stepped aside to let him into her apartment, but he stayed in the doorway.

"Monday we have to go to the lawyers office, your divorce will be official. Wanted to let you know, and ask if you wanted me to come with you." Tony offered.

Victoria opened her eyes wide in shock, it was really over. It had only been three weeks, yet Noah agreed to the divorce. She wasn't surprised, Tony's lawyers are ruthless, they probably pushed him to sign it pretty quickly. Noah probably happily signed it when he saw that she was leaving him with their investment portfolio, the apartment and not taking a cent of his. She was still surprised he never even considered that she made good money working for Tony.

"I.. wow, really? He's ready to sign it?" Victoria finally asked.

"He signed it yesterday." Tony said with a cocky grin.

Victoria immediately pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you, Tony." She said. A sigh of relief escaped her lips. The guilt of cheating on him ate at her from time to time, but she pushed it away whenever it would surface. But now, if Steve was ever willing, she could actually try again. Her feelings for Bucky kept clouding her mind, but she forced herself to bury them. She knew she couldn't have both. And while she liked Bucky, her need for Steve was on the same level as the need to eat for her. She wasn't sure if she'd live without him. She wasn't risking that for anything.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get all emotional." Tony said sarcastically. He broke the hug, giving her shoulder a small squeeze before walking out of her apartment.

Victoria moved back over to her couch, her book no longer seeming interesting to her at the moment. As relieved as she was to finally be free from Noah, she also felt guilt, she also felt sadness. She couldn't even figure out why she felt sad, she wanted this. She wanted to be away from Noah. But she also still loved him, in some way. Maybe not the same as she needed to, she knew it wasn't enough, she knew he didn't hold a candle to the love she had for Steve. But, still, she grieved her marriage being over. All that did was send more guilt through her, guilt that she felt sad about her divorce, guilt that she wanted to pursue things with Steve despite being a little upset about her marriage.

All the thoughts came to the surface at once, she wasn't sure how to make sense of any of it. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel, she wasn't sure what was normal. She wished her dad was alive to ask, he always said he never regretted his divorces, but she now had to wonder if he felt like this after each one.

Comparing herself to her father sent her down a spiral, terrified that her divorce was now just one of many. She pictured herself on a hospital bed, hooked up to various tubes and wires just as he was on his final days. He was alone, aside from her, he was alone. None of his ex wives came to visit, none of his friends or coworkers, not even his current wife at the time. She was there for the first 2 weeks that he was in the coma, but then she left for vacation to avoid the snow. Victoria pictured herself dying in a hospital bed, all alone with nobody to even care that she existed. She pictured her life going down the same depressing path her father's went down. 6 marriages, 5 divorces yet somehow when the doctor turned off the ventilator, the only ones that cared to show up was her and Steve.

"Ms. Alvarez, it appears you are having a panic attack. I am notifying Steve Rogers." FRIDAY announced. But Victoria didn't hear her, or tuned her out.

Victoria clutched her chest, not sure what good that did. But her heart felt like it was beating fast enough to sprout wings and fly out of her chest. Her breathing felt labored, like a vice was on her lungs and everytime she exhalted it tightened. Everytime she tried to inhale, it felt as if she was getting less and less oxygen with every attempt. Her breaths turned into short, shallow breaths, panting even. Sweat started to form on her face and neck despite her body feeling cold. She hugged her knees to her chest, laying her head down onto them.