The YouTubers (A Marcus Butler FanFic)

15- Just A Dream

Emily's POV

I paced back and forth shaking and biting my nails. Fizzy was watching me from the couch trying to calm me down. I was waiting for Marcus to arrive so I could tell him the news, that son of a bitch better not leave me here to deal with this on my own.

A knock announced his arrival and I ran to the door. I grab his hand and drag him upstairs to my bedroom. Wanting to give him the news in private. I leaned against my bedroom door and began biting my lip nervously.

He sat on my little couch I had in the room and waited for me to say something. My breath was shaky and my mind was spinning, getting more and more dizzy with each thought. My legs shook in fear and I felt like they were about to just give up on me at any moment.

I walked to my bed and sat down, Marcus shifted in the couch to face me. I fiddled with my fingers still unsure how to tell him.

I cleared my throat and finally began to speak, looking up into Marcus' eyes. Might as well just be blunt about this.

"I... I'm... p-pregnant..." His eyes widened in shock and he sat still, not moving an inch. 

I bit my lip and patiently waited for the new information to sink in for him. His eyes finally started to relax and he looked at me.

"Is this bad or... good?" He asked raising his eyebrows at me curiously.

"I don't freaking know Marcus" I said rolling my eyes in frustration. Putting my face in my hands.

"Okay I'm sorry, why are you so mad and worked up about it?" He asked, removing my hands from my face and staring into my eyes.

"I'm afraid you'll leave..." I said choking on my words and continuing "I'm afraid you'll leave me to do this alone" I said still looking up into his eyes.

I felt my eyes begin to water and my vision became blurry, before I could hold back the tears they began to spill out. I looked down ashamed and scared as the tears continued to fall down. Marcus tilted my head up to face him, he gently wiped away the tears with his thumb and embraced me in a hug.

He mumbled 'shhh shhhh' into my hair and rubbed relaxing circles on my back. I laid my head against his chest and let a few more tears fall out. He grabbed my arms and slightly pulled me away from him, so he could see my tear stained face. I didn't even care if I didn't have any makeup on, or if my hair looked like a mess. I just needed comfort right now.

"I will never leave you" He whispered planting a small and gentle kiss on my forehead. I smiled softly and looked down as I felt my cheeks begin to turn a light shade of red.

"Thank you" I whispered giving a half smile, and this time it was real. I never thought there would be a guy to actually break the wall I built up. Not in fear but in guilt. I found it was time to tell Marcus why I have had such a hard time being fully vulnerable with him. 

"Marcus, you know how I... I was such a bitch when we first met" I said looking into his eyes, he let out a small laugh.

"There's a reason for it" I said letting out a small breath before continuing. "A reason why its hard for me to love another guy." I whispered. "Its not a breakup type thing, more of a .... guilt thing" I said biting my lip and looking down at my hands.

"You don't have to tell me" He said holding my still shaky hands.

"I'm not..." I said looking up "I'm gonna sing it to you" I said standing up and walking to my closet, in there I had my guitar. He sat confused.

"I wrote a song, about what happened to me, last year. I guess I found it the easiest way to express my sadness and anger." I said choking back the tears that threatened to fall out, I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. I sat down on a chair and took my guitar out of its case, placing it on my lap.

(A/N Okay so this is actually Carrie Underwoods song, but lets pretend she wrote it okay! Also I changed the age in the song from 18 to 19, just letting you know! Okay here it is!)

******

It was two weeks after the day she turned nineteen. 

All dressed in white, going to the church that night. 

She had his box of letters in the passenger seat. 

Sixpence in her shoe Something borrowed, something blue. 

And when the church doors opened up wide. 

She put her veil down trying to hide the tears. 

Oh she just couldn't believe it. 

She heard the trumpets from the military band. 

And the flowers fell out of her hands.

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go. I was counting on forever, now I'll never know. 

I can't even breathe It's like I'm looking from a distance, Standing in the background Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now, This can't be happening to me.  

This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray. 

Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt. 

Then the congregation all stood up, and sang the saddest song that she ever heard. 

Then they handed her a folded up flag

And she held on to all she had left of him Oh, and what could've been, and then guns rang one last shot. 

And it felt like a bullet in her heart.

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go. I was counting on forever, now I'll never know. 

I can't even breathe It's like I'm looking from a distance, Standing in the background Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now, This can't be happening to me. 

This is just a dream

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go. I was counting on forever, now I'll never know. Oh I'll never know. 

It's like I'm looking from a distance, Standing in the background Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now, This can't be happening to me. 

This is just a dream

Oh, this is just a dream Just a dream....

******

I stopped singing and ended with my eyes closed shut tightly, biting on my lip to stop me from making horrible crying noises. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Marcus sitting on the couch with tears in his eyes. I could tell he didn't know what to say.

"He was my husband... he died while serving for the Military." I whispered and a tear slowly fell from my eye, dripping down my cheek slowly.

"I'm so sorry" he said rushing over towards me, embracing me with another hug. "Were gonna get through this together, I promise" he whispered to me as I leaned on his chest and wrapped my hands around him.

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Authors Note!!

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I love Carrie Underwood, and that's one of my favorite songs from her :D

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-Ash