Affogato: *Searching through his drawer* Ugghhh...now where is my spell book...if Caramel Arrow misplaced it....
*Suddenly picks up a photo.* Hm? This is...
*It was a photo of his and Caramel Arrow's wedding day.*
Affogato: Oh....so precious...Caramel Arrow looked so handsome that day. It was the happiest moment of my life...which probably would of been murdering and usurping the king if fate played any differently. But...I truly am happy life played out this way...
*Sighs* I remember it like it was yesterday...
~Flashback tyd, you know the drill~
Dark Cacao: [Initiating wedding monologue]....Cookies of the Dark Cacao Kingdom! Today we are gathered here to witness the marriage between two cookies. This is a day of union, joy and peace. Even the Licorice Sea calms itself to enjoy this magnificent day. It is time to unite these two lovers forever...Caramel Arrow Cookie...
*Caramel Arrow smiles and waves awkwardly, the red hanbok she's wearing feeling a little bit too tight.*
Dark Cacao:...and...Affogato Cookie!
*He raises a hand and the wedding march starts playing. Affogato steps in and starts walking down the isle. Caramel Arrow's face turns red and her eyes widen as she sees her lover. He was...beautiful. He wore a dark blue hanbok, with a blue veil over his face. He smiled brightly as he approached the altar, and Caramel Arrow thought he looked so cute.*
Dark Cacao: Ahem...now that the two are both here, we will begin with the vows.
Affogato: *Curtseys to Caramel Arrow* Caramel Arrow...my dear, my love. You have always been a light in the dark, a strong spark of hope for me and others. You have pulled me out of my path of sorrow and loneliness, and loved me like no other. Caramel Arrow, I vow to stay by your side forever like you have done to me. To support you and be a helping hand when you need one. To love and care for you, even when you say you don't need it. Because I will forever hold you in my heart, my eternal love.
Dark Cacao: *Nods* And you, Caramel Arrow.
Caramel Arrow: Well...I'm not as good with words as Affogato but...
*Takes a deep breath.*
Affogato, I am unable to even name all the times you had cared for me when I was too busy serving others to cate for myself. You are passionate and loving, and I don't want to spend my life with anyone else. Affogato, I want...no. I vow to always fight for you, to fight for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of...our future children. Affogato, I could say a thousand words, but they'd all have the same meaning. I love you, Affogato.
Dark Cacao:...No other words? Then we proceed. Affogato Cookie, do you take Caramel Arrow as your lawfully wedded wife?
Affogato: I do.
Dark Cacao: And Caramel Arrow? Do you take Affogato as your lawfully wedded malewife?
Caramel Arrow: I do.
Dark Cacao: Any objections?
Random person: I object!
*Everyone turns and glares at them. Dark Cacao raises an eyebrow.*
Dark Cacao: May you explain why you object..?
Random person: Oh, I don't actually object I just wanted to see what would happen if I do...lol.
Dark Cacao: Ah...alright.
*Clears throat* No other objections?
*Silence*
Dark Cacao: Alright. Then...you may now kiss the bride!
*Affogato practically jumps at Caramel Arrow, and kisses her passionately. Caramel Arrow kisses back roughly as the entire crowd cheers. Affogato pulls away from the kiss, only to kiss Caramel Arrow again. The two seem to forget they're in public, and start making out.*
Dark Cacao: *Muttering* And have many cookie progeny....it seems.
Affogato: *Finally stopping* Let's go take a picture my dear. Then we'll have some cake and delicious food~
*Caramel Arrow nods, and the two go to take a picture. After that, Affogato leads Caramel Arrow to the wedding cake.*
Affogato: I made the cake specifically to cater to your tastes dear~ And here it is...in all its glory..the ca-IT'S GONE!?
*Affogato screeches and looks around. Caramel Arrow looks worried.*
Affogato: What...who...who took it!?
Caramel Arrow: Calm down dear.. please don't start one of your fits again. We'll find the cake just-
*She stops as she hears a barking noise. She turns around to see Crunchy Chip with a panicked expression, next to his Cream Wold with caramel frosting all over its lips.*
Crunchy Chip: Oh uhhh...hey guys. Congratulations you two. Uhm...you don't mind that I brought my Cream Wolf buddy along right?
Affogato: *Face turns dark* Your mutt....ATE THE CAKE!?
*Affogato starts shaking in anger and Caramel Arrow sighs. Little did she know, it was just the first of many shenanigans she would have after being married to Affogato.*
A/N: Srry for the long hiatus! I'm gonna grind rn so that maybe...
YOU ARE READING
Daily Life of a Watcher And Her Purple Snake Husband || Cookie Run Crackfic
FanfictionCaramel Arrow is way too much of a girlboss (Devsis confirmed) and lives with her beautiful malewife Affogato, who may or may not be homicidal. This is their daily life.
