Doomed From The Start: A Marriage Agreement

chapter 6: the marriage

Jaanvi

My hands won't stop shaking.
My nerves are all over the place today. because today is the day. I'm getting married. And I can't believe it is happening to me. I had dreamt of this moment for so many years, and now I'm suddenly nervous.

Because, after this, there's no going back, there are no second chances. And I'd have tied my life with a man forever. Am I ready for this? I don't know, I don't think I will ever be.
Conflicting thoughts war in my head as I sat in front of the mirror, my hair was being set by a hairstylist. My face was already made up and I'm dressed in my bridal saree. All I can do now is calm my nerves and wait. I can do this. This is my moment. I'm gonna live it the way I dreamt it to be.

The wedding preparations has already started, the groom must be seated on the mandap now, only a handful of minutes before it would be my turn to grace the room. By the end of the day, I'd be a married woman.
I twisted my hands anxiously as I waited for my bridesmaids to come and get me. Soon enough, Priya and Bina entered the room with wide smiles on their faces, with a bouquet of flowers in their hands.
Finished with my hair, the hairstylist gave me a thumbs up and an encouraging smile. I mustered a smile back.

Priya noticed my expression
"you look like you're about to puke. Jaanvi, is everything alright?" Her voice genuinely concerned. Bina wore the same concern.

I looked at them both and took a deep breath before confessing
" Yes, No, I don't know. I'm so nervous. gosh, I don't think I can do it. I might pass out" I rambled, wringing my hands nervously.

Bina smiled at me reassuringly " it's will be okay didi. Don't worry, you can do this. Priya and I are counting on you" she said as she squeezed my hands.

I was so thankful to her at the moment, I just needed their doze of confidence..
Taking a few more calming breaths, I lifted my head and smiled "okay. Let's do this"

"That's the spirit!" Priya cheered and fist pumped the air.
"Let us escort our beautiful bride to her groom" she added, grinning.

I took the flower bouquet she offered and reached out an arm to both of them. They both quickly embraced me in a hug.

" I'm so happy for you didi" Bina said and squeezed my waist. My lips melted into a smile at her words..

" Thankyou guys" I whispered as I hugged them back.

"Okay now, let's go before the groom comes in searching for you, someone must be getting impatient " Priya suggested coyly, giving me a wolfish smile.

We three left the bridal room and entered into the mandap. Everyone was already seated in their chairs and every head in the Isle turned towards us as we entered. I walked confidentiality towards the stage, my hands fisted in the fabric of my saree to keep my jitters in check. Priya and Bina flanked me on either sides and lead me forward. I lifted my eyes and my gaze connected with Arya, who was sitting tall and proud in his magnificent white shirt and dothi, waiting for me. A fresh wave of nervousness hit me again as I climbed up the short steps leading to the platform and sat beside my groom. He looked like a prince waiting for me, but I can't even focus on him.
So many pairs of eyes were watching us, social anxiety is wrecking my nerves.
Please don't pass out,
please don't pass out

I mentally chanted inside my head but it didn't help at all. I really don't want to be the center of attention, I can't stand it. Sweat was beginning to bead on my forehead, my blood was pounding in my ears. Panick grew wild in my chest, making me dizzy.
No I'm not going to pass out, I'm not going to. It will be so embarrassing. I repeated it over and over. But it was not enough to stop the trembles from acting out or my heart from jackrabbiting.
All the while I sat there with clenched fists, heart hammering against my ribcage as I desperately prayed to the god above
Please don't make me pass out.