Her, My Husband

CHAPTER 4

FAH

I sat on my chair quietly, staring at her back as she leaves. I sigh in relief the moment that the door has closed and she was gone, leaving me with my thoughts alone in this room.

I really don't know how long I can keep this up. The lies have been covered up with more lies and they just keep on piling up. I was never the type to lie, I actually hated doing so, but now I do it every minute of every day and to say that it's draining me is an understatement. Still, I don't really have the right to complain because at the end of the day it is still my fault. It was my decision.

~~ flashback ~~

"We've postponed the wedding for far too long" My dad started. He was seated on his office chair, looking down at his clasped hands on top of the table while my mother stood beside him. "Maybe it's time to just cancel it" He proposed, looking up to meet my eyes. I understand what he's trying to say but I simply cannot let that happen. "We can't do that dad! We had a deal, we should pull through with our side of the deal" I protested, standing right across him. "That's not the problem, we have already sent our people there, funds are already raised and given to them." He rebuked.

"Their company is already out of the red. They are doing much better now" He assured me. 

"That's not what I'm talking about." I countered, clenching my fist.

"We have to keep our word. What would people think if we suddenly cancel the wedding?" I can feel the desperate tone in my voice. I have to make sure that this marriage goes through. I have to clean my own mess.

"Not a lot of people know anyway, we can keep this matter to ourselves." My mom interjects, trying to calm me down.

"NO!" I insisted. I can feel tears building up in my eyes and tried my best to hold it in.

"Don't be stubborn! There's no guarantee that --" I cut whatever it is that my dad was about to say, not wanting to hear them enumerate reasons to stop the wedding from happening.

"I'll do it. It's been months. I've already showed up to other events." I declared, reminding them of the events of these past few months. I can feel my pulse rising and my mouth run dry. "I can do it!" I can't tell who exactly it is that I'm trying to convince, my parents or myself.

"You don't have to" My mom shook her head, sadness visible in her eyes. It looks like she was about to cry which doesn't really help in suppressing the already unbearable pain in my chest. "I do" I said, looking straight to her eyes to show her that I am determined and have every intention to pull through with my words and take responsibility.

My dad took his time to keep silence as he stares at me, probably analyzing the situation. I know that this is not the best possible solution but I am that desperate to make sure this deal push through. I need to be responsible for the problems that I've caused. I NEED TO DO THIS.

"I understand" Dad finally spoke. "We will keep our end of the deal and proceed with this marriage, but you have to give me your word that can handle this" He demanded.

Mustering up all the confidence that I could gather right now, I said "I can handle it"

He stared right into my eyes, trying to put down the courage that I somehow collected and I look back at him, refusing to lose this one particular battle.

Realizing that I had no intention of backing down, he averted his gaze and finally gave me a nod. I felt relief the moment he gave me his permission, but now that I actually got it, I suddenly felt the nervousness and anxiety for what I am about to do.

~~ end of flashback ~~

Thinking back on it would not change the situation. What's done is done. I just have to do my best in order to not let things get out of hand. I have to take control of things and make sure to keep the secret. And if one day people found out about this before we sort things out, I'll be ready to do what it takes to make sure that it doesn't affect people more than necessary. I will be ready to take responsibility.

After taking a few minutes to breath and relax, I went ahead and fixed myself a glass of wine that I am keeping in-stock in my office. With the glass in my hand, I walked across the hall towards the end where my room is located. I went inside my room, locking the door behind me, passed by my bed to the bathroom where I put my wine glass down on top of the countertop next to the sink. I, then, opened the water faucet in my bathtub to fill it with water. As the water slowly rises, I went and take off all of my clothes, took the wine glass I previously put down and settled myself on the bathtub as it continues to be filled. This has always been my way to destress and something that I desperately needed.

--------------------

Morning came and I woke up before my alarm, like clockwork. Preparing myself for another day of the pressure directed to me, problems that needs solution and lies that needs to be kept, I took a very deep breath before pushing myself out of the bed and went into action get myself ready.

I looked at the mirror to check my appearance one more time. Once I managed to deem it satisfactory, I went out of the room and head towards the dining area. Once there, I was greeted by Anya, the house help, as she finishes up in setting the table. I kept a poker face as I go towards my seat then nod my head as my way of saying thank you. 

Acting like this doesn't really sit well with me. I know that I need to continue to act like this but I can't help but feel so guilty for being rude to everyone. I want to but I can't act so friendly towards them like before. I'm only hoping that it won't be long until things could finally go back to normal.

I took my phone from my pocket to check the time and found out that Becky is late, though not that late, by a couple of minutes already. Should I go and wake her up myself? I shouldn't tolerate tardiness; I need to be strict. But then again, yesterday was indeed a tiring day, even I want to go back to my bed and just go to a deep slumber. Should I just let her sleep for today since this is still the first day, maybe l could just let today be an exception. Still, I have an image to keep. Rather than me, should I just ask Anya to check on her?

This is really driving me crazy! Whatever! I turned on my phone and opened an app on it. It was this app that makes a roulette with the data that you input. I put 5 sets of 'YES' and 'NO". 'YES' for me going up to her room to call her and 'NO' for just letting today off and have her take her time to sleep.

I was about to start the roulette when I heard the chair beside me being pulled. I took a peek and saw Becky sit down. I guess the roulette is no longer necessary. Quickly, I closed the app and put the phone down.

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Hello!

Here's another chapter. It's the shortest so far but I still hope you find it entertaining.

Thank you for reading!