Her, My Husband

CHAPTER 12

BECKY

I still can't believe it all. I am eager to know all the details but I don't think now is the right time. Seeing her peaceful expression as she sleeps makes me feel at ease. Now that I managed to tell her that I am now in the know, I hope that things would not get awkward between us because that's the last thing that I want. I want for us to be closer to each other, be much more comfortable with each other's company, maybe something like each other's comfort zone, not for us to drift apart.

My eyes immediately wandered to her side of the bed the moment I opened them only to find her already seated and she was looking at me. I didn't realize that I ended up sleeping here.

I gave her a smile, hoping for a positive reaction. She smiled back and that made my heart swell. 'We're okay' I thought to myself and became overcome with relief. "Good morning" I greeted as I prompted myself up only to be stopped when I suddenly felt something on my hand. I looked to check and found our hands still clasped together. That's right. I held onto her hand last night. I was afraid that she might leave without me knowing so I did that. It's kind of embarrassing but heartwarming at the same time. I didn't want to let go but she retracted her hand, maybe she found the situation awkward. I looked over the bed side table where the clock was located, it's still early. Too early actually.

She then started moving, fixing herself on the bed, knees tucked in and enveloped within the embrace of her slender arms as she rested her back on the headboard. I did the same. "It's still early, you should go back to sleep" she told me as she looked at me. I simply shook my head. "It's ok. I'm not that sleepy. How about you?" she shook her head. "I'm not sleepy anymore" she answered as she lowered her head, looking down to her knees.

We stayed there in silence for a couple of minutes. It wasn't exactly awkward but I started to feel myself become uneasy the longer we stayed there. "So..." I said when I finally decided that I could no longer handle the anxiety that I'm feeling. I needed to break the silence. "How are you feeling?" I asked with genuine concern despite the nervousness that I'm feeling. She looked at me with searching eyes. "Okay" she answered, but to me she sounded kind of unsure. I can't blame her though. "You know you don't have to hide from me, right?" I said, intending to remind her that I am on her side and that I will bring her no harm. We looked at each other in eyes, her gaze soft, searching and insecure and I did my best to pour assurance, affirmation, trust and as much love as I could with mine. "How..." she gulped visibly "How did you know?" she asked carefully. I hesitated to tell her but I also know that now is the right time to be honest. I need to be honest and I hope that she does the same. "I actually heard you accidentally" I confessed. She furrowed her brows as she give a silent indication for me to continue. "Remember when you had a fever? The night before that, I accidentally heard you talking to your dad. I heard you say that you are you and not him" I told her honestly. She let out a sigh. "I was so careful" she uttered with disappointment. "I can't believe I got caught that way" she continued as she hides her embarrassment with her hands. 

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from smiling. She looks so cute and incredibly adorable right now, I had to pinch my thigh to stop myself from going to her and enclose her into a tight embrace or pinch those lovable cheeks of hers. "Well, I'm thankful for that. If not for that I don't think I'll ever find out about it" I said, trying to give back some confidence in her. She flashed me a smile that I responded in kind. 

"What made you decide to do this anyway? Pretend." I asked after a little while. I know that this is a sensitive topic for her but I also think that I am entitled to know, I am, after all, affected and is actually right in the middle of it all. "I didn't actually plan on doing this" she started. "After waking up and finding out about Fah's condition, I was distraught. He's my best friend and my twin brother, my only brother. I've always loved him dearly. We were very close. Since we were born, there was not a time that we weren't together. That's why it pained me to know that I have woken up but he hasn't." I can see that her eyes were starting to become red. "I stayed by his side everyday even after I was discharged. I didn't even leave the hospital when I got discharged, which actually helped because no one found out that I was the one who woke up. I actually told my parents not to tell anyone that I woke up, not until Fah wakes up as well." she informed me as she fidgets with her hands.