𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓘 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 || 𝓡𝓮𝓶𝓾𝓼 𝓛𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓷

Pouring rain

She was stumbling around the yard.

Not a single soul was out there with her in that heavy pouring rain and thunderstorm.

She had a bottle of whiskey in her hands. Her hair and clothes were wet. You wouldn't have even realized she had been crying, because the rain had already smeared all her makeup off.

The only way someone would have seen her was because of the moon.

Venus took a seat on a big rock and tried to lit her cigarette, but the rain didn't help. She threw her pack away and took a sip from the whiskey what was now mixed with water.

She jumped down and took a seat on the ground, laying on her back, the bottle now forgotten next to her.

She was laying in a mud, but she didn't care. She was so tired of everything, again.

She had promised Remus she would not hurt herself, she lied. She had hurt herself. She barely stepped outside of her room this week.

She barely ate. Lucian and Morgan were the only ones to bring her food or sit behind her door and talk to her. Venus didn't really talk back nor ate the food, but she still appreciated how they cared.

But she didn't want them to care. She didn't want anyone to care.

She was just about to hit the ground with her already broken wrist when she heard her name being called.

She looked to her right and smiled.

"Albus" she said

"Miss Snape" he said again "can you please stand up?"

I pushed myself up and rested against the big rock again as not to fall down.

"Can you please come with me?"

"I don't want to see father"

"You won't, do not worry. Let's go back to inside, it is warm in there"

I looked at him before starting to limp towards the castle.

"I know it is not the time to ask this, but how is your relationship with professor Lupin?" He asked

"Normal. We get along" I slurred, I was really drunk but I still knew what I was saying

"Hm. This way"

"Slytherin co-"

"We are going to see Madame Pomfrey"

"I don't want to-"

"I am afraid you have no power in here"

I stared at him and then marched over to the hospital wing. I opened the doors with a bang, immediately got scolded for doing that.

Poppy laid me down on a bed and told me to stay in there.

"Poppy?"

"Yes dear?"

"Don't send me to the muggle hospital again, please"

"You will not go there, do not worry" she stroked my hair before she closed the curtains and walked away to talk with Albus.

I closed my eyes. My head was spinning and I was feeling shit. I couldn't even wait for her to come back before I fell asleep.

The morning was horrible. The whole week when I was in my dorm and cried, I had terrible migraines every single day.

And even now, I woke up to a really bad headache.

But then I felt my hand was being caressed by another person. I opened my tired eyes all I wanted was to send him away, but I didn't have the strength.

I fiddled my fingers a little to make him know that I was awake.

"Venus" he whispered

"Dad" I whispered "why are you here?"

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, changing the subject.

"Shit"

"What hurts?"

"Everything. From head to toe, absolutely everything"

"Want painkillers?"

"Yea"

He stood up and opened the curtains to step out and then closed them again. I closed my eyes until he was back.

He helped me to sit up and gave me two vials to drink.

They helped pretty quickly.

We sat there in silence. I was examining my bandaged wrists and bandaged fists. Even my thighs were bandaged.

"Do you want to send me to the hospital?" I whispered

"No. I would not do something like that to you"

"But it would be better to get me out of the way, wouldn't it?"

"Stop talking this nonsense, girl. I am your father and I care about you, I love you-"

"Then show it" I said "all we do is fight. I am tired of fighting. Maybe you are cold and don't care but I think you don't realize how much it hurts me when we fight-"

"It hurts me as well"

"Then why? Why do you have to argue with me all the time-"

"Calm down" he said "you need to rest right now"

I humphed.

"I am going to bring you lunch, what would you like to have?" He said

"Don't know, pasta maybe"

"Anything else?"

"No"

And when he went to get us lunch, I fell asleep again. The day passed just like that. He brought me lunch but couldn't stay with me.

I didn't eat much. I just picked the food and sometimes took a few bites. He brought me cookies and orange juice. I hated pumpkin juice.

Sometimes Poppy came and asked me how I was feeling or she just wanted to change my bandaids.

"Professor Lupin asked if he could have a word with you"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Maybe tomorrow. I am tired"

"Very well. I will let him know" and with that, she walked away.

I did not want to see Remus. The last time I saw him, I promised I am not going to hurt myself. The whole week I was in my dorm, I did just that.

I was broken and I did not want him to see me in this state I was in right now.

Just the thought of disappointing him again was enough to make me feel bad. I knew he was the only person who would make me feel good. I absolutely loved the way he cared about me, how he hold me, I didn't want anything else in that moment than to be in his arms, but I couldn't.

I watched from the window as the sun settled down and soon enough it was completely dark outside.

I wasn't tired at all. I tossed around in my bed, hoping once again that I would be in Remus' arms.

After realizing I won't sleep this night, I stood up from the bed and sneaked out of the hospital wing.