𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓘 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 || 𝓡𝓮𝓶𝓾𝓼 𝓛𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓷

Worry

"Focus, Snape!" Kingsley shouted and threw me another spell to block. I barely managed to do it.

"Give me a break, would you? I am fucking exhausted" I shouted back

"You can not take any breaks in a war!"

"We have been dueling for a whole week now, since seven in the morning until dinner! Just let me have this break for once"

He lowered his wand and looked at me, finally realizing how exhausted I was.

"Well, you get your weekend off, but on Monday we will continue"

"Sure" I mumbled and sat down on the grass. I laid on my back and took a deep breath. I heard the balcony door opening and watched how Kingsley walked back inside. I placed my hands on my face and tried to hold in my tears but I couldn't.

The whole week had been an emotional rollercoaster. I had a very awkward talk with dad about Lily. He told me everything I wanted to know, but I realized talking about her hurt him a lot so I did not ask a lot of questions.

There was nothing actually wrong in my life, but my mood had dropped a lot for no reason. I wanted to cry again all the time, every small thing upset me and I had hard time not shouting at everyone.

The duels with Kingsley made me lose my appetite. Everyone were concerned that I was not eating at all. Molly, Abby, Remus, Sirius- they all talked to me about just eating a small sandwich at least, but I couldn't.

I didn't even want to tell them how tired and nauseous I was all the time.

So here I was, laying on the long grass, feeling raindrops on my bare skin, crying.

But the backdoor opened again and I looked over to see my...boyfriend standing there, looking at me in concern.

Yes, boyfriend. Last week Remus and I had a small quiet romantic night in our room. I was out of the house with Abby and when I came back I realized it was Remus' idea for us to go out. When I opened our room door my eyes widened and my lips parted.

The room was illuminated by candles, rose petals were on the bed and floor, our song "Love me tender" was playing.

Remus and I had a relaxing long bath together, he had made us pasta as usual. We danced and cuddled the whole night. And then, Remus asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes.

And now, I looked how my boyfriend walked over to me, concern all over his face.

He kneeled next to me and took my hands in his.

"Hey" he said quietly "What's going on, my love?"

I just shook my head, not knowing what to say to him.

"Wanna go inside? You'll catch cold"

I shook my head again.

"Let's go under the roof at least" He helped me up and I leaned with all my body against him. He wrapped his arm around me and held me up. Remus sat down and pulled me onto his lap. "Tell me, I am here for you"

"I am just- so fucking exhausted, Remus. All I want to do is cry and I don't even know why! I have no appetite. I want to show Kingsley that I can win the duel, but I just keep failing all the time. I am so, so tired again, Rem, so tired"

"I think the best solution would be that right now we are going to the kitchen, lunch just got ready, if you want to we can eat there or we can go up to our room and eat alone so you would not have that pressure on by other. After that we will take a long long nap that would help you to get all your energy back"

"I don't deserve you" I whispered against his neck whilst playing with his fingers.

Remus chuckled and kissed my forehead

"Yes, you deserve better than me" He whispered and stood up with me, holding me in bridal style in his arms. I chuckled and gave a kiss on his cheek.

"Let's eat upstairs, please" I said

"Your wish is my command" He said and walked to the kitchen with me. We saw how happy people were to finally see me in a better mood. But of course, there was only one person who looked with jealousy at us. Remus and I had learnt to not pay attention to her by the two weeks she had been here.

"We are going to eat upstairs today" Remus said and placed me down to get us two plates. "What would you like to eat, darling?"

I showed him what I wanted, always telling him to not put so much on the plate but he did not listen to me. When we had everything we wanted, we made our way to our room.

"You hate eating in bed" I mumbled as he placed the plated in the middle of the bed.

"I would do anything for you, even eat in bed"

I chuckled and sat down, taking a fork into my hands.

"Remember, you are not forced to eat all of this, I would be proud of you however much you eat" he said

I nodded and took a small bite of the steak.

I ended up eating half of the plate when I was feeling nauseous again. Remus ate the rest of my food whilst I chugged down my water. I was scared to tell him I wasn't feeling the best.

He placed the plates aside and took two potions from the bedside table.

"Now, one help you to fall asleep quicker and the other is dreamless potions. Take from each two sips and let's try to get a good sleep"

Firstly I changed my clothes and laid under the covers, wearing only his shirt. I took the potions and watched as Remus took off his clothes and laid down next to me. He let me snuggle against him.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before finally falling into a deep sleep after a whole week of not sleeping.

Remus placed a kiss on the top of her head, thinking and worrying about her for a few minutes before also falling asleep with her.