𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓘 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 || 𝓡𝓮𝓶𝓾𝓼 𝓛𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓷

In my own misery

After I confessed to Remus about my mother, it was deadly quiet in the room.

I got nervous and started to ramble everything to him. Usually, when I rambled, he took my hands in his and told me to take a breath with him, but now, he didn't do it.

He looked at his legs and listened to me, not saying a word.

I told him all about how I connected the pieces I had in mind. How I talked with Minerva who confirmed all of that. And then how I talked to dad about it, who also confirmed it.

And after I had told him everything, he just shook his head. He cleared his throat and let out a deep breath.

"I need some time to think about this"

"Remus, please" tears filled my eyes "The last thing I want is you to see me differently after that"

"Venus, I need some time to think"

"I understand"

I looked hopelessly at him as he stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me by my own. The tears escaped from my eyes and I started sobbing. I pulled my legs up to my chest and simply cried.

I felt so pathetic. So stupid. I regretted telling him that, but he needed to know. I was so afraid he will break up with me, again.

I heard the door opening and I hoped it was Remus, but it was just a black shaggy dog. I chuckled a little as he jumped on the sofa and placed his head on top of my thigh. I leaned back on the sofa and closed my eyes, scratching the back of his ear.

"We are both in a mess, aren't we?" he just whined "I know, but it will be alright"

Time passed and we both fell asleep on the sofa.

We were woken up by the shouting of Sirius' mother portrait. Sirius jumped up quickly and ran over to close the curtains of the portrait. I just turned on the other side and tried to fall asleep again.

Sleep didn't come easily. I tossed around and after twenty minutes of trying to fall asleep, I stood up and wandered over to the kitchen. I got myself a glass of water and sat down on one of the chairs.

"Where is Remus?" I asked from Tonks.

"He went outside" Matilde was quick to answer. I shot her a glare and tried not to show the sadness in me.

Matilde held a proud smirk on her face. It made me feel disgusted.

"Is everything alright between you two?" Tonks asked. She seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yeah" I said and sipped my water "Everything is absolutely fine"

"You can talk to me when you need to, I am here for you" She said quietly and squeezed my hand.

"Thank you, Tonks, truly"

She smiled at me and let go of my hand.

"Remus told me that he won't be back before dinner" Matilde spoke again, making me roll my eyes. "Oh, and he asked if you could pack some things for him, he is going to his own house for the night"

My heart shattered as I heard that.

"Did he also told you where he is right now?" I snapped

"He did" She smirked

I let out a scoff and stood up from the table, walking out of the kitchen and slamming the door behind me, making the portrait shout again.

I ran up to my room and from frustration pulled all Remus' clothes out of the wardrobe. I threw them all together and then sat down on the cold floor, crying once again.

I was so exhausted, so mad, so sad, and simply so tired.

All I wanted was for him to walk through the doors and hold me in his arms. It was lot to ask, I thought.

I heard steps, but the door never opened.

I got up and walked over to the bed. I laid down and pulled the blanket over my body. I wiped my tears into the fabric, but new tears ran down on my cheeks already.

I looked at the mess on the floor. All his clothes and stuff was in a large pile. He hated mess. He hated when his clothes were on the floor.

I started to overthink things. Like I wasn't enough for him. That he deserved better than me. It was all the same as before.

Why would he want to be with a young girl who is his late best friend's kid.

I thought about why had Remus talked with Matilde. Out of everyone in the house. Maybe she just pushed herself on him as always, but maybe Remus made it on purpose.

Maybe he liked Matilde? No. But maybe?

I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my head. I wiped my tears again. I felt stupid for crying. Of course he needed time to think, why did it made me cry?

I had no answer for that.

Just as Matilde said, he was not in the house at dinner time. I wasn't eating as well. I was still locked up in my room, looking at the ceiling for hours, no thought in my head.

But at one point the door handle shook. It wasn't even a minute, when the door was opened with magic and Remus stood in the doorway.

He looked at me, the mess and then me again.

It was silence. I looked away from him and curled myself up in a ball, burying myself under the covers.

I heard steps in the room. He was doing something with the clothes, but I didn't know what. Was he packing his things up? Was he putting his clothes back to the wardrobe? I didn't know.

I heard few more steps before the door was closed and it was once again deadly quiet in the room.

I shut my eyes, trying to tell myself that he left, that he saw me differently now.

Just as the first tear escaped from my eye, the mattress rose because a person had sat down.

"Everything is alright, my love"

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Woahh, no words! We reached 50k readers!?! What the hell?? Never in my wildest dreams I imagined this to happen! I am so incredibly thankful.
Also, I was on a vacation in Georgia ( the country, not a state) for a week and I felt really happy out of my home country. I feel like I really deserved this vacation. Feeling much happier and healthier now!