Mixed Feelings

Fighting Already...

**** Steph’s POV

Okay why did Zayn just leave? I could tell he was mad. But he never said I couldn’t date any of the boys. I know he doesn’t want me getting hurt… even more but I really like Harry and Harry really likes me. I mean why would he ask me out if he didn’t.

I was snapped out of my daydream when I heard a door open and close. Zayn came into the kitchen wearing gray sweatpants. Only gray sweatpants. Must I say Zayn was really muscular. Zayn grabbed a soda and left. Back to his room I guess.

“Should we play a game now?” Louis said getting impatient. We all nodded in agreement. I was going to get off the counter, where Harry set me down when we first made our way into the kitchen, but Harry quickly but his hands underneath my thighs and effortlessly hoisted me up and took me into the living room and sat me on the couch.

“What should we play?” I said no one in particular.

“We should play ‘never have I ever’!!!” Niall said while fist pumping into the air.

“Okay. Rules?” I said wanted to start the game already.

“Every time someone says ‘never have I ever’ and says something that you’ve done you have to take a shot.” Niall said. Of course the Irish wanted to drink. But I can’t bag on my little leprechaun.

A few moments later Niall returned with some sort of alcohol and little shot glasses. I of course picked the one that said ‘princess’ on it because I’m just that cool.

“OK. I’ll start. Never have I ever… gone skinny dipping.” Niall said.

Louis, Harry and I took a shot.

“Questions like this and I’ll be drunk in no time.” Louis said excitedly.

“Never have I ever ditched while in school.” Harry said.

I took a shot.

“Never have I ever lied.” Liam said.

Louis, Harry, Niall and I took a shot.

 “Never have I ever stolen something.” I said.

Louis took a shot.

“Never have I ever sexted.” Niall said with the slightest grin formed on his lips.

I felt myself blush as I reached for yet another shot on the coffee table. When I slammed it down I saw everyone looking at me.

“Seriously?!” Everyone said in unison.

“Okay first of all creepy. And second of all yes.”

“When?” Harry said.

“When I was 15… I’m not as innocent as you think I am. I said then winked.

“Who did you send it to?” Harry said in all seriousness.

“Why?”

“Because you’re my girlfriend I deserve to know.”

“Since when was I your girlfriend?” I snapped.

Harry was about to say something but Liam beat him to it.

“Okay! How about we go to bed. It’s getting pretty late.” Daddy direction much? But I guess he was right.

Since Harry was mad at me he sulked down the hall to the guest bedroom on the first floor and the other boys would have to figure something out since they were going to stay over. I got up and slowly made my way upstairs.  The reason I was walking so slow was because what I didn’t tell the Doctor or the boys was that I cut on my left hip. I haven’t done it in a long time but the boys said they were going to check both of my wrists daily for new cuts. I guess I got a little too carried away with cutting my hip though. I could barely walk. Instead of going to my room I walk a little bit past my door and ended up at Zayns door. I knocked on the door and when he didn’t open it I started saying; “Look… I know you’re mad at me but…-“I said looking down

“I’m not mad at you.” Zayn said cutting me off and was now standing in the doorway. Yeah… but…----“

“No. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at Harry.” He said.

“Why Harry.” I asked cautiously.

“Because…erm… he knows how I feel about you…” Zayn said looking at the floor.

“How do you feel about me?” I said razing his head partly because I wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying but I also wanted to look at his eyes.

“Well…err… that you’re practically my sister…” Zayn said

I couldn’t help it. I hugged him even if he was shirtless. I didn’t want to let go. He was so warm.

“Steph you have to let go.” Zayn chuckled

I shook my head ‘no’ and he just laughed even more.

Zayn carried me to his bed and sat there with my head still buried into his chest. He caught hold of my waist, trying to flip me over, but instead making me clutch onto him tighter while making a squeak trying not to yell.

“What’s wrong?” Zayn said.

“Nothing I’m just sore.” I have lied. It was true. I would get sore after I cut either too hard or too much.

“OK?” He said more as a question than a statement.

“Can we just go to bed?” I asked.

“I don’t think you’re boyfriend would like that…” Zayn said trailing of.

“Please.” I said

“Ok”

With that I cuddled closer him not realizing that we were still sitting up. Zayn moved us so that I was lying on top of him.

“Goodnight Best friend.” I whispered.

“Goodnight… Estephania.” Zayn chuckled slightly.

“Ugh! Call me Steph!” I wined.

“Love you…” Zayn said

I looked up a little to see his face and what I did surprised me. I couldn’t believe I did it either. It was like my body was possessed to I guess.

I kissed Zayn.