His Two Miracles | Thomas Barrow

Chapter 105

Lost in a daze, Thomas sat alone in the servants' kitchen at the table, his fingers idly tracing circles on the wooden surface. Thirty-three weeks into his second pregnancy, anxiety coursed through his veins like a relentless tide. Memories of the past flooded his mind, reminding him of the premature birth of his daughter who had entered the world at thirty-six weeks. Now, as he carried his second child, questions plagued his thoughts, and he couldn't help but worry if history would repeat itself.

As he sat lost in his thoughts, the door creaked open, and Mrs. Patmore, entered the kitchen. She observed Thomas's troubled expression and immediately sensed that something was amiss. With a furrowed brow and a sympathetic gaze, she approached him and asked softly, "Thomas, my dear boy, what's the matter? You seem lost in your own world."

Startled by her presence, Thomas lifted his head and forced a weak smile, attempting to conceal the turmoil within. "Oh, Mrs. Patmore, it's nothing, really. Just some thoughts running amok in my head."

Mrs. Patmore, knowing Thomas well enough to recognize when he was struggling, took a seat across from him and folded her hands on the table. "Now, Thomas, I've seen enough worry lines on your face to know when you're troubled."

He sighed, "I can't help but feel anxious. I'm thirty-three weeks pregnant now, and I never made it to full term with Ellie. She was born premature at thirty-six weeks."

Mrs. Patmore's eyes softened as she listened intently, her heart aching for the young man before her. She reached across the table, gently placing a hand on his. "Thomas, my dear, I can only imagine the weight you're carrying. But remember, worry won't change the outcome. What matters is that you give your child all the love and care you're capable of. You've already proven yourself to be a remarkable father to Ellie. I have no doubt you'll do the same for this little one."

"I try to stay positive, Mrs. Patmore," Thomas admitted, his voice filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. "But every time I feel a twinge or an ache, I can't help but worry if this baby will face the same struggles as Ellie. If I'll be able to carry to full term."

Mrs. Patmore reached out and placed a comforting hand on Thomas's arm. "You've been through so much, my dear. But remember, you're a remarkable father. You've shown incredible strength and love in raising Ellie, and there's no reason to doubt yourself now. Trust that your body knows what to do."

~

The worries that had haunted him during his previous pregnancy resurfaced with a vengeance. 

The fear of another premature birth gnawed at his insides, threatening to overwhelm him as he observed the signs of his body changing, the anxiety grew stronger, more suffocating.

The weight of his worries bore down heavily upon Thomas. He struggled to fulfill his duties, his breaths coming in shallow gasps, his energy waning. It became too much to bear. Abandoning his current task, he sought solace against a wall, needing its support to keep him upright. The world around him blurred as he closed his eyes, attempting to steady his racing heart.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Thomas placed a hand on his rounded belly, feeling the life within stir. 

Feeling the weight of exhaustion, he knew he had to retreat to his room in the servants' quarters. Removing his suit jacket, he let it fall to the floor in a haphazard manner, a symbol of the burdens he carried. Slowly, he made his way to his bed, its softness a welcome respite from the world outside.

With a gentle touch, Thomas laid his hand on the underside of his belly, feeling the movements of his unborn child beneath his palm. It was a moment of connection, a quiet bond between father and child.

The room cocooned him in its embrace, providing a sanctuary for his weary soul. In the depths of that solitude, Thomas allowed himself to let go, to surrender to the vulnerability that coursed through his veins. He knew he couldn't control the outcome, couldn't change the course of nature. All he could do was hope, love, and believe in the strength of his own body and spirit.

And so, in that fleeting moment, with his hand resting on his belly, Thomas found solace. The worries and fears that had plagued him were momentarily quieted, replaced by a sense of peace. He knew the road ahead would be challenging, but he also knew he had the strength to face it head-on.

As the weight of exhaustion claimed him, Thomas surrendered to sleep, his dreams filled with visions of a future filled with love, resilience, and the laughter of his children. And though the path may be uncertain, he found comfort in knowing that he was not alone—both in his waking hours and in the depths of his slumber.