𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | hotchniss

leaving like a father running like water

1991

They used to argue and scream at each other sometimes all couple did that but they always made up quickly, this time it was different it was a fight a big one and Emily felt like if they won't fix it now, there will be no going back and for some unknown reason this is what she was hoping for

-
"What do you want me to do Emily?!" Aaron felt like he was about to explode she was shutting down and pushing him away, God they were together for almost two years now and she kept doing that he became tired of trying to figure her out

"do you want me to go?" Of course he didn't want to go but she left him clueless every time she started to fade

"do you want to go?" She asked her hands crossed against her chest Emily didn't want to do that but she knew she had to she can't be his, she felt like she's holding him back he should go and pursue his dreams he can't keep visiting her watching her fulfil hers.

"I feel like you are waiting for me to leave Emily stop pushing me away! If you want us to break up just say so!" he yelled fighting the tears
He didn't expect her to react to that last part

"If you feel like that then maybe you should go" she said angrily Emily was so tired she felt suffocated she loved him so much but she couldn't do this she won't.

all of her 'what ifs' kept running through her head she was afraid that in the end if he will stay with her he'll resent her. "Do you really mean that?" He asked looking straight into her tearful eyes he was furious

"is that what you want?!" He yelled because he didn't get any reply he got closer to her he's not going to fight in a battle he knows won't have any good outcome he needs to know what the hell she wants.

"it doesn't work don't you understand? Why do you keep insisting?" She said shoving him in the process making him stumble "Emily stop!" He said he was overwhelmed tears threatening to fall he didn't understand her reaction. she took a step back and started pacing back and forth picking her nails again, crying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she said suddenly not looking at him

"talk to me" He begged his tears falling "please" they were so tired

"you should go" she said finally

"please go" she said again more quietly she hoped he knew she loved him- that she didn't mean that but Aaron just closed his eyes letting more tears fall he pulled her close she didn't resist.

Pressing his forehead against hers, taking her hands kissing them leaving them close to their chests and under their chins they were both completely worn out tears streaming down both their faces Aaron was tired maybe she was right maybe they just don't work.

"I wish you weren't like this..."  he said she just looked at him she didn't seemed hurt she just looked defeated he took a long shaky breath slowly shaking his head

"Emily I-" he started

"I know" she cut him off giving him her sad smile,

They both looked at each other, eyes floating over each other's faces exploring every little detail almost like they were tattooing this moment into their mind, Emily took a big breath taking in his smell in the process, cherishing it like some kind of souvenir she knew will eventually fade.

Then he let her go he took his bag and never looked back. Aaron knew it was coming but he  still hoped that they will get past it.
He now thought that maybe one day they'll find their way back to each other
He hoped one day she will come back to him.

She felt like she was burning inside it was so painful what did she do?

just like with her father just like with Matthew she lost him too, Aaron was gone another person who made her feel worthy of love who made her feel like she was someone's favorite thing, he like them was gone, maybe her 'new' shadow was warning her all along- that it was temporary and expected she was just starting to believe in him, started to believe that they weren't just hanging anymore that they won't slip but the outcome was worse then she predicted worse than slipping-

they crumbled, shattered to pieces, she's never gonna love again.

____

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