𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | hotchniss

"𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒"- and I couldn't give a reason

____

She stopped feeling.

Slowly, she detached from the moment, enveloped in a fog-like haze. Everything felt lighter, including herself.

She stood still inside her bathroom and staring at her naked reflection in the mirror. Emily didn't recognize the person she saw before her. The bath was ready for her to enter, but like always since she was discharged from the hospital, she found herself transfixed, staring at herself for an unknown duration.

Her fingers floated over her damaged skin. Her barely perceptible touch awakens currents of false pain all over her abdomen, as if Ian had just stabbed her there again. She removed her hand from the scar and leaned over the sink, gazing at the cloverleaf-shaped brand Ian had left on her chest. She lacked the courage to even attempt to touch that part of her body, she could only stare and fight the wave of tears that came instantly.

Though she often lost that battle, ending up turning on the faucet so the falling water would drown out her cries and cover her sobs, which she feared Aaron would be able to hear.

She could still feel Ian's hands on her, and in the beginning, it was worse, as his hands weren't the only ones she imagined it was Marcus's touch, Cyrus's and when she saw her reflection, she hated herself for it. It disgusted her, and she barely allowed Aaron to touch her because of it.

She was still crying when she let herself sink into the full bath, burying her entire frame under the water and once again feeling weightless. With only her head peeking out and resting on the wall, she closed her eyes, finding a sense of calm in the comforting lightness. She loved that feeling, the ease of being underwater where her body no longer felt so heavy and out of place.

However, her tears kept streaming, and her thoughts kept racing, searching for a way to apply that exact comfort to her mind, but the search bore no achievements.

He might be dead, she was told that so many times, but he wasn't gone— Ian was alive, living through her. Through repeated nightmares, her stained relationships with her team, her scars, and the new brand she wished she could scrub away from her body, he was there.

"Emily?" She opened her eyes at the sound of his voice and the knock on the bathroom door. She settled deeper in the bathtub, hiding her body, before answering him "Yes?"

"You need help? You've been here for close to an hour now" he asked opening the door and holding her robe.

Emily was doing better physically, he knew that; the physical therapy had helped her regain her strength and mobility. But he knew she was still struggling but she was determined to take her baths and dress alone, only accepting his help after making sure he wouldn't be able to see her exposed.

He couldn't force her, and Aaron understood. He was just grateful she accepted any help from him at all, remembering his own refusal to do so when he was in her place after Foyet. He was familiar with her taking longer in the bathroom, but now it worried him, as she never spent this much time inside.

Emily nodded weakly, "Yes, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't notice." She rose slightly from the water, simultaneously turning her back to him and lifting herself up, gripping the tub's edges. Aaron left his spot at the door, helping her steady herself and guiding her out.

Her back was still to him as he helped her into the robe. "Thank you" she said. Aaron wrapped her in his arms and kissed her forehead once she turned to face him and rested her head in his neck. "Do you need me to help you with anything?" he offered. Emily sighed and lifted her head, "No, it's okay. Thank you."

She managed a small smile and Aaron nodded, "I made us dinner, so get dressed and come down, okay?" He waited for her confirmation, which she gave with a small nod.