All My Love || Harry Styles

Chapter 21

A few weeks have passed, and now we're back in my hometown, New York. Harry and I haven't been talking much, just the hi's and bye's. I haven't seen Shawn since we announced our fake relationship, but he did post a sweet picture of us on Instagram. I know it's all for show, but it made me smile.

Being back in New York brings back memories and excitement. This is where my dreams began, I've only been on this tour for one month, but it feels like forever since I've seen my family.

We are here for five days, the longest we've been in one place throughout the entire tour. This is a special moment for me, we have three nights of performances lined up at Madison Square Garden. It's almost surreal to think that I'll be on that stage.

Madison Square Garden holds a special place in my heart. It's the venue where my dad and I would go to watch our favourite artists perform. He was a musician himself, and his passion for music was the reason I got into the industry. But when he passed away from cancer when I was only 13, it hit me like a tidal wave. It was a devastating loss that changed my life forever.

From that moment on, I made a silent vow to never let go of our shared dream. I knew deep down that music was my calling, my way of honouring my dad's legacy. And now, standing here at Madison Square Garden, I can feel his presence. I can almost hear him telling me how proud of me he is.

I sit in the stands, my eyes fixed on the stage before me. Excitement fills the air as the crew members discuss plans for the crew party later today. I'm not that excited for the party, but I promised Sandy I would go.

Tonight's party is a celebration of completing the first month of our tour. It's incredible how fast time has passed, and I find myself reflecting on the month. I wish I could look back at this month and think about everything amazing I've gotten to do, but all I can think about is Harry, and I hate that.

I hate how much he consumes my thoughts. I hate that I don't want to go to this party because he might be there. I hate how much I care about him and what he's doing. But most of all, I hate how much I long for him.

I want to forget so badly about him and all the memories we created. I should be excited with so many amazing things happening in my life, so why do I feel so empty?

"Lu, you coming?" Sandy's voice breaks through my thoughts, and I quickly nod, pushing my emotions aside. I stand up and make my way down the stands to meet the rest of the team at the entrance.

"Party's at 8, so we've got a few hours to get ready," Sandy informs me with a smile. I manage to muster a smile in return, masking the turmoil inside me, and we walk together to the waiting cars.

When we get back to the hotel I go straight to my room, Shawn is coming here at 7 so we can go in together. We are getting photos done as well since people haven't seen us together for a couple weeks.

As I step into my room, a whirlwind of activity greets me. There's no time to rest or dwell on my conflicted emotions. My hair and makeup team, led by Lily and Ross, are eager to begin their work. I take a seat as Lily stands behind me, deftly manoeuvring my hair into an intricate updo. The soft strains of music fill the room, creating a soothing atmosphere amidst the chaos.

Meanwhile, Ross stands in front of me, his expert hands meticulously applying makeup to enhance my features. As Lily and Ross work their magic, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to find a sense of calm within the storm.

As the final touches are applied, I open my eyes and gaze at my reflection in the mirror. The person staring back at me is a carefully crafted illusion of the person I long to be. A smile graces my lips, radiating a sense of happiness and confidence that belies the turmoil within.