your love is purple
and purple and orange
do not make gold
but i thought it was okay
maybe i wasn't supposed to be gold anymore
maybe this the last poem i write before you break my heart
so for what it's worth
i'll let you know
i liked russet brown
some days you were more red
more loud
more lively
other days your heart has no trace
some days you look at me like i'm not there
and you can just find another person to replace the feelings i don't light up inside of you
i love you anyways
your love isn't one i can replace
i loved you at your darkest
i want to love you all the same
but some days
you don't look at me the same
you've changed
or maybe i didn't stay the same
maybe it's all my fault
i would let you use me and suck me breathless
so long as it meant i never had to have a nightmare about you again
as long as i wouldn't have to lose the person i love over and over again
you are all that i want
but somehow i always end up seeing that i am not everything you want
that maybe to your eyes
i am just not the one
this hurts
because i see a universe in you
it stings
man oh man, rejection is the worst feeling
was i not beautiful?
was i not kind?
of course you are, is what they always say
it's not you, it's me this time
easy let down
easy way out
when i would go through hell to save you
as long as it meant i never was to have a nightmare about you again
as long as it meant i was to never lose someone i love over and over again
i love you in a deep way that's hard to replicate
i don't want to replicate it
i just wanted everything to be okay
but when i'm okay you're not
and when you're okay i'm falling apart
it's some weird balancing act that i wish would just never come back
i just prayed for God to watch over you
i just know that if it is not me I hope it will always be Him
that you can run to Him
if you no longer can run to me
i just feel really bad about this all
toothache in my chest kind of thing
the kind when you lie and you hide from me
why do i deserve anything?
i just wanted a happy family
you keep breaking the dream
that i keep trying to build
i just want to be happy with you
hand in hand
lucky and obsessed with each other
and just so incredibly grateful
and so incredibly thankful
that we finally made it out
on the days when we are more like a tan
like our skin
i love this color on him
he has the softest eyes in the world if you let him love you
i miss those eyes
all of the time
loving you like this
it's like taking poison in increments
it won't kill you but it will make you wish you were dead
some days feel like heaven
some days feel like hell instead
my heaven and hell
icarus is what they'd call you down there
