i'm not supposed to be here yet
again i guess i don't know where you went
i try not to think about it too much
i used to drink about it too much
but
i'm rounding the bend
and now i see this for what it is
it was my delusion
i was completely infatuated with the idea of what could've been
but
it already was
you swooned me
you wooed me
you did something to my little beating thing
confusing wasn't what it was
it was sure
i was certain it was you
i didn't care where you came from or what you were to do
I fell head over heels for someone who
knew they couldn't have me
but still they lived in their delusions too
if only
we are as poetic and dramatic as can be
the intentions never even mattered to me
i just liked they way you would think
it made me excited like a kid again
still i'm waiting for someone to give me this feeling again
when i can't find it
i think of way back when
i was in a relationship with my delusions
everything was uncertain
nothing was real
but oh
do you know the way you made me feel?
i won't forget it
it was inspiring enough to make me remember why writers write at all
the story you sold
has been told
by the likeness of poe
my eyes are doe
when i look into yours
you turned me soft, you turned me rose
and i suppose
i should thank you for this
you brought back something from within my soul
that i thought had turned cold
you brought back warmth
that felt like inhaling sweet delusion
when i breathed in your cologne
if only
oh i hope you know
i still think of you
my eyes still get stars in them at times
i know it's silly and not logical to live in the past
but if we made good memories who should stop me from reliving those?
you remind me of an old soul
like billie holiday
like blue moon
like la vie en rose
like trumpets and swing music
a sultry playful piano playing in the backroom
while i hold you
and you hold me
i still hear you in my mind
you're still beautiful in my eyes
for what it's worth
you got what i rarely give
my affection is something worked for
my care and respect is something i have to give out to a deserving hand
let me show this man
what it is like
sigh
i told you i'm not supposed to be here
what if i was?
turn my heart to mush
flip my heart upside down
turn my world inside out
the look in your eyes from the skylight
the way you light up my midnights
it's like
you're the moon itself
i could bathe in your touch
what the actual fuck
i'm not supposed to be here
but what if i was?
this is the sweetest delusion
this man has
he has a hold on my heart
it's just outside of his grasp
but he'll pull me closer
string by string
just to see his smile
is just as good as seeing him mad
i like his entire face
and all the emotions he does or doesn't have for me
i don't care
he's not there anymore
but imagine if he was
if he walked right through that door and looked me in my eyes
he could make my heart stop with the bat of an eye
i dunno if he notices
but every time he's close to me
my breath is taken from me
his sweet
is always sweet to me
and there you go
i hate your face
because it's a face that takes my breath away
you still have the same stupid effect on me
how could that be?
please explain
it's not my flesh or anything
my soul lingers there
right in that place we were once
imagine if we stayed at the start
i would've loved to dwell in your art
but i have to calm down
i can always feel you coming
i knew i should've done something else with my lunch
nah, gotta spend time to write about my favorite type of guy
you know the kind
he gave and still gives me
butterflies
the.
good.
kind.
