too tired to fight
this poetry is exhausted
i am too tired to write
must i go on?
i have been repeating the same song
since seventeen
full of music and wonder
but i no longer sing
i no longer dream
i lie and wait
imagining
i think in this life
the only thing i have ever truly wanted
was to be in love
i am such a lonely shy thing
i had no idea of how to go about it
i sometimes try to go without it
and starve myself of my dreams
but i can't help falling in love
where i go
it seems to follow me
i fall in love with strangers
i fall in love with ideas
i fall in love with lights and trees
i even fell in love with me
suddenly
it seems i have exhausted everything
i like sonata in a major
it reminds me of my youth
i'm still in my twenties
i feel so elderly
i am so tired of falling in love and having it go to waste
i am so tired of buying the wine
but never truly giving it a taste
my mind
do you mind my mind?
tired
i told you i was tired
don't you see it on my face?
i am still trying
all of this started because there was something i lost
something simple and small
reminded me of everything i've lost
and suddenly
i am there again
in the loss
i don't even know what to say anymore
my eyes are heavy and sore
i am tired
and sometimes i don't want to be here anymore
but i pray God won't take my breath away
that he will repair what this world broke inside of me
and give me a better day
