"i tried to be so kind." -he said.
so kind as to threaten me with your life?
while you play with my mind
and mine?
you hopped online for a few
almost called the cops for you
but you knew
just like i do
that you don't want to die
you just want me to cry
you just want to make me sad
that's all that is
narcissistic abuse
is now what i call you
you give me nightmares
you make me wish they'd disappear
you scare me now
and i wonder how
things became so strange
i used to calm you with the tone of my voice
you only pretended to calm me
you didn't care about me
not actually
the idea of this is
haunting me
you want to control the control freak
you will never out control me
i control the plot
ever since i turned seventeen
i learned how to cave and rot
my control looked like numbers untold
that meant life or death
your control is with other people's minds
and not mine
not anymore
i can't wear rose colored glasses anymore
it will be a sad ending
the final death
i would've loved to love you
but your love isn't real
you're flawed
you don't have empathy
you don't have emotions
you fake them
and it's scary
sometimes i feel bad for you
but feeling bad is something we all do
so it doesn't matter if it's me who
you'll spill your sob story to
someone will fall for it
someone will take you in
some pitiful soul will love you again
i will pray for them
you don't deserve love behaving like this
i hope the guilt eats you alive
i know it hurts, doesn't it?
but i never wanted you dead
please stay alive
and watch me thrive without you
we don't need you anymore
not at all
not ever again
a dead fish could love me better than you can
i'm disgusted with you
turn your face from me
your face i never knew
