call it what you want

Chapter 17

Ameeriah

I wake up dazed and check the time.
It's only 4am.

I got a couple hours of sleep but now I'm thirsty.
I roll myself off the couch and drag my feet into the kitchen.

I open the fridge but there's an empty space where they usually keep their waters.
Great.

I have no idea where their cups are so I start opening cabinets up, careful to be quiet.
I finally open the final cabinet and see the glass cups but when I reach up to grab one, even on my tippy toes, I can't reach it.

I'm not even fucking short, I'm 5'6 but I still can't reach the top of the cabinet.
Fucking tall hockey players. Why'd they have to put the cups on the very top?

"Need some help?" I hear a deep voice from behind me and I flinch as I slightly jump back.
"Oh my fuck, you scared me," I say as I put my hand over my heart that was almost knocked out of my chest.

I see the silhouette of Jackson in some sweats and a t-shirt.
"Sorry," he slightly laughs as he walks over to me.

I turn around and before I can move, he reaches over me and starts to grab a cup.
I can feel his shirt on mine and smell him, like some kind of woodsy type of scent, really fucking good and when he hands me the cup, our eyes meet.

"Thanks," I whisper slowly as he's looking at me so intently.
His eyes are searching my face, I can see his eyes scanning every inch of my face.

My breathing starts to quicken and with every breath I'm taking, my chest is slightly touching his because he's still nearly on top of me.

His lips part and for a second I think he's gonna—

"Yeah no problem," he mumbles as he steps back rubs his hands across his face.

I exhale and try and catch my fucking breath as he fills up his cup with water.
"What are you um," he swallows. "What are you doing up?"

"I woke up and wanted some water," I say quietly. "What are you doing up?"
"Can't sleep," he mumbles and I wonder if it has something to do with the phone call I heard earlier.

He looks exhausted. "Are you..good?" I say slowly, not knowing if he wants to talk or not.

"Yeah I'm—" but he sighs and shakes his head. "Actually no, I'm not good."
He rubs his hands over his face before continuing.

"I'm so fucking overwhelmed and my dad is a fucking snake," he exhales.

"My parents are getting divorced and I'm getting calls from him, acting so nonchalant and then my sisters are calling me crying because of the shit going on that I'm not even home to see and then my mom is about to fucking lose her mind, her heart is broken and there's literally nothing I can do to make this any better and I'm just so tired," he emphasizes on the last word.

"Oh Jackson," I say slowly as I try and think of what to say to make him feel any better and I'm coming up blank.
You would have never guessed that he was having any problems at all with the way he acts up here, like he's completely happy.

He leans back on the fridge and rubs his hands over his face. "You don't even have to say anything because I don't really want talk about this I just needed to tell someone but I'm—" he pauses to sigh and I just put my hand on the side of his arm.

"Can I give you a hug then?" I ask and he removes his hands from his face and immediately moves toward me.

"Fucking please," he mumbles as he holds onto my waist and burrows his head into the crook of my neck.

I feel my arms over his neck and feel his big shoulders.
I exhale into him and he just holds me.

I feel so bad for him and I don't know what to say to make anything feel better, so we just sit like his in a hug for a while.

I feel him move his head slightly and hold onto me even tighter.
Holy fuck he's a good hugger.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles as after a couple minutes and lets me go.
"You don't have to apolog—" I start to say, but he cuts me off.

"Can you please not tell Adare or Wes about what I told you? I just don't want anyone knowing right now while—"
"Of course I won't," I say with slightly scrunched brows and sincere eyes. "I won't say anything."

"Thank you," he whispers lowly. "Goodnight Ameeriah," he says while looking into my eyes as he starts to back up before turning to walk to his room.

"Goodnight," I whisper.

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