call it what you want

Chapter 32

Ameeriah

Today's the morning of my Bio exam and I'm going over my notes as I'm walking to class.

As I'm reading some of the notes that Jackson wrote, I try to block out everything that happened last night and everything he told me.

I honestly didn't even know what to say.
I was feeling so many emotions from that entire night.

Jackson like basically told me that he liked me right? Like, like likes me.

And every single time that I think about the fact that I patted him on the back and ran out the car as fast as I could makes me want to cringe on the spot.

I try and block out everything before I walk into my exam.

˖ ࣪✦

I passed. I was a nervous wreak right before but the moment I looked at the exam, it was everything I had studied, or what Jackson helped me study.

I haven't talked to him all weekend but I figure that I should tell him that I passed the exam I was really worried about, and that him helping me study worked.

I walk over to his apartment, and as I'm walking in, I see him walking up on the opposite side of the hall.

"Ameeriah? What are you doing here?" He says as he walks up in some grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt with slightly damp hair. He must of just showered from practice.

"Sorry I just," seeing him in person made me lose some of my confidence that I had a second ago. "I uh," I clear my throat. "I made an A on my exam," I slightly smile. "Your tutoring helped me."

"You made an A?" He widens his eyes as he continues walking closer to me. "Fuck yeah," he says as he reaches his hands up, motioning for a high five.

I smile and reach up to meet his hands. He grabs onto my hands slightly and I make eye contact with his soft brown eyes. His eyes look around my face and he swallows.

My heart starts to pick up and suddenly my breathing quickens. We slowly move closer to one another, and I realize that our hands are still in each others.

"Jackson about last night I—"
"You don't have to explain, it's fine really," he says with sincere eyes.
I'm still so painfully aware of how close we are, our hands still intertwined.

I swallow down all of my nervousness. "You're right, I don't have to explain."
He squints his eyes a little bit, looking confused with my response whenever I lean into him ever so slightly and wrap my arms around his waist a little.

He takes in a sharp intake of breathe before closing his eyes and gulping.

"I'm trying to respect the way you feel Ameeriah," he inhales again. "I know you don't feel the same way and I'm trying to respect that but I can't," he pauses to exhale. "I can't do that when you're touching me."

I don't respond, instead I just keep my eyes looking up at him and press my lips to his.

He doesn't waste a second when he leans back into me and moves his hands down to my waist to hold onto me.

"Wait," he says breathless as he removes his lips from mine. "This is real right? This isn't fake still? Like I'm fine if it is but I just don't want to think that—"
"Jackson," I say to get him to stop talking.
"Mhm?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

He smiles a little. "Yeah?" And I nod my head.
He quickly presses his face back to mine and we work our mouths with each others.